77. So What I Get Drunk?

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Hey, you! Yeah you. You with the face. Guess what you do for a living. You'll never guess. I'll just tell you. You're a bartender. Not a bad job, so long as you don't mind listening to drunk people cry their boohoo baby life stories to you every single night. The pay's pretty decent.

However, every once in a while, you just have that patron who doesn't know when to put the bottle down and head home to their skinny pig and their collection of empty Sprite cans. Tonight you were dealing with a particularly spirited young man who had just taken three whole sips of Soju before growing red in the face and then becoming shit-faced drunk.

At first he grew quiet. You thought for a moment that all of the life had been sucked out of his assholebum. But then, after the alcohol had a few minutes to go through his bloodstream he fooking EXPLODED with energy.

"Ayyyy!" he said loudly in a twangy accent. "Errrrone! Luk at meeeeee!"

He then proceeded to hop up on your bar countertop and start dancing on it. I mean, shit, he was a reallllllly good dancer and everything. Prolly the best you had ever seen. But still, you literally JUST cleaned it. Now he was scuffing it all up with his $3,000 Gucci loafers. 

This some bullshit. Sexy, sexy bullshit.

 Sexy, sexy bullshit

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What would you do?

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