Jemima
I lay on the tour bus travelling to our next location, Max and I were in the back room having some alone time, I lay between his legs leaning back on him. Today's instalment of Max's odd socks were a dinosaur one and one with glow in the dark stars. We sat fiddling with each other's fingers mindlessly, the silence was comforting and it was nice to able to just sit with him peacefully doing nothing. It was funny, he was so hyperactive yet he could sit with me doing nothing and be quite contented, Matty said he'd never seen max so calm like he was with me, it made me feel proud that I could do that for him.
My stomach started to hurt from eating breakfast and I shifted to try and get comfortable.
"Emmy? Can I help?"
"I should get William" I whined holding my stomach, Max took his large hand and placed under my jumper massaging my sore stomach, copying what he had observed William do.
"Any better?" I nodded at his question nuzzling my head back into him and he kissed my hair. After a while I stopped his hand moving but left it where it was with my hand on top of his. "I can give you what you need better than he can Emmy." Max whispered sadly. "If you give me a chance...." William knocked and stepped in smiling at me.
"Hey Max, mind if I take over? Matty wants you for midnight blue stuff, something about signing merchandise for a meet and greet later." Max sighed loudly gently pushing me forward off of him and left without saying anything.
"How you doing baby? Was your stomach hurting?" I nodded. He sat down and I nuzzled in to him.
"I think I need something to drown everything out" I told him
"How do you mean?"
"I don't know I'm just feeling a little, ugh why do I find it so hard to just fucking talk sometimes"
"It's ok, you want me to get Matty?" I shook my head and fiddled with my bands and Arthur bracelet.
"Jemima are you feeling....anxious or stressed?" I nodded "finding it hard to cope with the flashbacks? Is it getting too much for you to handle?" I nodded again nuzzling myself further into him. "I thought the other night was just a gut reaction to the situation but.......Have you been thinking about doing something..." I started to cry into his chest. "MATTY!" William called out loudly holding me tight, the instant sound of Matty's pounding footsteps could be heard sprinting the length of the bus.
"What?" he burst into the little back room observing me crying into my boyfriends chest
"She's finding it a bit too much to cope with life today" William informed him holding my wrists stopping me from digging my fingernails into them that I had started to do after he called my brother.
"Oh ummm ok....Jem kiddo what can I do?" My brother asked crouching down to my level
"Nothing" I sniffled out
"You wanna come join me and the boys, change of scenery? We're just looking at new merch and signing some posters no biggy." He offered, I nodded and he picked me up taking me to the main section of the bus sitting me on a couch seat. I curled up covering my ears trying to stifle the sounds ringing in my mind that had popped in there from no where after smelling the boys nacho cheese they were snacking on.
"Here Jemima, try this" William offered me my headphones and iPod, he placed them in my ears and I listened to my peter playlist, which automatically calmed me, I smiled weakly at my boyfriend and nodded. He sat next to me rubbing my cold legs over my sweatpants.
After a while the boys had finished whatever they had been doing and were bantering with each other, Matty and Tom trying their best to include William who was reluctant to move away from my feet but was trying his best not to crowd me. I sat with my knees up listening to the music peter and I had created together, I liked listening to them even if it was me singing, some were just backing tracks, they reminded me of my Petey and it was like he was here with me where I desperately needed him to be. I sat looking out of the window watching the passing cars, I hadn't spoken to peter in a while, I think he felt awkward being so far away and not being able to help. I know he was jealous William was here and he wasn't. I pulled my phone out and texted him a quick hola I miss you and put it back away.
YOU ARE READING
Keeping Jemima
General FictionMatty thought the first year back with his sister Jemima was tough, but the second brings more complexities, more secrets and more drama, Will Matty cope with caring for his complex little sister who still has so much to teach him about her life or...
