Keeping Jemima

Have some standards

Jemima

It was a really long journey and we had delays at the stop over making it worse. Max couldn't sit still so we ended up playing hide and seek randomly in the area of the airport we were stuck waiting, we got several funny looks from strangers and scoldings from Matty but it was worth it see max skipping around releasing some energy rather than attempting and failing to sit still.

I was completely exhausted when we eventually walked through our front door. I stood in the floral room sighing to myself, this really didn't feel like home. Memories if that first day here when Matty found out about Steve flooded my brain, I'll never forget the look of pure horror and sadness on his face, I broke him that day, like I break everything I touch. I broke something inside the thing I loved the most, I broke a part of him that can never be fixed again, he was broken like me now. I wished I'd never come here, he wouldn't be broken if I'd stayed away, I could have kept him safe from the pain I now see behind his eyes, I'd broken my Matty.

"Hey" I looked up to see my brother smiling at me. "We got house viewings next week, we want you to come and help us choose. You ok?" He yawned
"I'm as tired as you look" I laughed half heartedly
"Fight the jet lag a little, we'll have an early night. You can jump in with me if you like?" I shook my head "you sure?"
"I'm nearly eighteen, I think kipping in with my big brother is getting inappropriate."
"Hey, I got nine missing years to make up for. That's a lot of cuddle time I'm still owed! Screw anyone who thinks it's weird Jem, they don't understand how complex you are. How complex we are. If you need to cuddle in our beds then bloody do it. The boys don't mind either, they'd say if they did"
"Even if Ed has a girlfriend?"
"Well I'm not sure she'd be best pleased if you crawled in with him if she was here" Matty joked, I looked down sadly, giving him a nod "what's up, you still worried about Ed's love interest, it's early days Jem, he's not bringing her round tomorrow is he."
"Things are changing Matty, I don't like change."
"I'd noticed." He came and sat on my bed "you don't want him to get a girlfriend?"
"Of course I do. I just...need him."

"I'm not going anywhere Em" we both looked up at Ed standing in my doorway. "You're my sister, I'm always going to be here for you Em. Besides I'm gonna need your help, you're coming shopping with me this week to buy a first proper date outfit." I smiled and nodded at him "come here you, I love you sis" Ed kissed my head, Matty giving him a pat of approval "hey we could even go on a double date with you and William!"
"I don't think so" I squirmed uncomfortably "bad enough my handsome boyfriends gonna be spending so much time with...."
"Jem, he's not gonna cheat on you! He's bloody smitten."
"Heard that before. For all we know he could be wining and dining some country club girl as we speak!" I huffed sorting my washing from my case "I wouldn't blame him. Probably why he isn't coming when he said he was."
"Jem!"

"he was so embarrassed of me he didn't even introduce me to half of his family at the wedding and I've only met a few of his new friends!"
"Jem I don't think he has many friends. He's really shy, I think he just has a few close ones, as for the wedding I think he was embarrassed about the snooty family not you, some of them were really stuck up! He knows you don't like new people."
"You're going to find this long distance thing really hard aren't you?" Ed sighed pulling me back into his chest
"I don't want to talk about it" I huffed angrily "maybe I should just end it now before he does."
"Em he loves you."
"We all know how this ends. Might as well bring forward the inevitable."
"Jem you're self destructing here, he's not...."

"Hey Emmy? Swim?" Max bounced in, already wearing his salmon pink swim shorts "what's wrong?"
"Everything" I covered my face crying
"Oh my little Jem, you're just tired. It's the jet lag taking baby sis, Let it out."
"Did I say something wrong?" Max flustered clearly wanting to take me off of Matty to hug me "you can put a T-shirt over your bathers Emmy, if you don't want to...."
"Max bad timing mate that's all, nothing you said or did mate" Ed squeezed his glitching shoulders
"What's wrong?" Milo and Tom hurried in
"See you got your boys right here." Matty kissed my hair calming me down "how about we go for a jet lag dip in the pool, Max's right we've not seen you in bathers for a while so if you want to cover over we won't be offended."
"Mums been cooking, she's bringing dinner over later apparently. She's made tuna bake I think. That okay?"