Keeping Jemima

He knows

Jemima

It was now evening and getting dark. I fell to my knees on some grass at the side of the road putting my hands flat on the ground to try and steady my breathing. I could hear the boys stepping off the bus behind me, I panicked so I got up and just started to run without even looking where i was going, just like the time I ran from the studio and ended up on a beach somewhere, just like the countless times I'd run away from Steve. I just ran, ran to freedom, ran to escape, ran so I didn't have to face my reality. I ran as fast as I could in whichever direction my legs were taking me, Someone caught up to me grappling at my arm to try and stop me, I pulled away screaming, running in another direction at speed to get away from whoever it was. I hadn't realised I had darted out onto the busy motorway towards the oncoming traffic until there were cars dashing past narrowly missing me, I heard a truck horn blaring and lights shining brightly in my eyes, I just froze to the spot in the middle of the road.

"EMMY!" Max screamed out, sprinting towards me pulling me out of the trucks way just in time, his pull sent us both tumbling to the floor at the side of the road.
"Emmy, are you ok, Emmy talk to me, Emmy?" Max was frantically checking me over, I flew into his arms and he engulfed me in the tightest hug I've ever had "shit you scared the fucking shit out of me Emmy, don't ever do that again, I can't loose you Em, I can't fucking loose you!" He frantically muttered into my ear, his hands shaking as badly as mine were.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry"
"It's ok, I've got you, your Max has got you, you're safe Emmy, you're safe."
"FUCK, is she ok?" Matty fell to his knees next to us, I felt max nod "bloody hell its a good job your a fast runner max!"
"Jemima? Is she ok?" William panted out of breath when he reached us "Max can I hold her?" He asked, I clung tighter to max. "Please, Jemima baby I'm here."
"Let max take this one William." Matty told him, he walked William reluctantly away back to the bus.

"I'll bring her back in a second" max called out "Emmy it's going to be ok"
"It's not, I'm bad max, I'm just wrong, there's something wrong with me isn't there, I'm just bad, it's all my fault max" I cried onto his shoulder.
"No your not, it's not your fault Emmy is his, it's theirs. Your not bad Emmy, You your so vulnerable inside and they just take advantage of that. You have to tell us who he is"
"No max"
"If he cared about you he wouldn't have done what he did, he wouldn't have done that to you."
"He said he loved me max, he said I was special, just like you do, like William does, like Felix said he did, how do I tell the difference." I sobbed

"Oh Emmy, come here" he moved my face to look at his "for starters no one's going to love you as much as I do, I've been trying Em, I really have, but I just love you more not less, but I would never take advantage of you like he did and it pains me to say it but I don't think that William kid would either."
"I just...I just...wanna go home max"
"Where, Australia or England?" I shook my head "where Emmy, I'll take you wherever you need to go"
"You're my home max, you and Matty and Tom and Ed and Milo, you're my home.  But you're my max, I need my max back, I need my max" I cried harder.
"You've got me Emmy, I'm right here, I've got you."
"Dont let me go max, I'm scared. I don't wanna...I Don't wanna..." I grabbed my ears and hair again.
"You're not going to fall Emmy not on my watch, you're ok, you're going to be ok." He hugged me again, then carried me back to the bus.

"Max, I know what I want to show you now."
"Yeah, What?"
"Everything, me I wanna show you me, I'm tired of hiding max, I need someone to see me, all of me"
"I see you Emmy,  you can show me all of you and I'd still be standing here loving you and not letting you go ok" I nodded, we reached the bus and he carried me on board, I hid my face into Max's neck away from everyone too embarrassed.
"What do you need Emmy?" He asked
"I need my max" I whispered in his ear rubbing my fingers over his heartbeat.
"Take her to the back for one of your heartbeat cuddles max, it might help." I heard Matty tell him, Max did as he was told and carried me to the back room where he lay in the seats, I lay on top of him my ear to his heartbeat, Max's fingers playing with my hair.