Red Eyes and Revelations [Derek Hale fanfic]

Self-realization and karaoke

It’s been a few days since I’d left the hospital. Actually it was Friday night and I was ever so bored. I’d watched my friends and my boyfriend turn into a supernatural council. I felt a little left out, Tammie and Sam had been doing some serious reading about witchcraft and they thought it would be a good idea if I wasn’t involved in all their plans since we didn’t know if someone was gonna try to mess with my head. We weren’t sure if he was acting alone or had a team of someone else with special abilities. Since I’d been the target two times in a row they thought it was best not to take any chances and involve me too much.
Those plans resulted in me spending lots of time in my room while they were sitting in the living room discussing what to do.
My biggest challenge had been to put my own needs aside. I was glad to be out of the hospital and have my own room and privacy, but I still didn’t get to do normal activities during the day like going to work. My mood was constantly changing. I could be pretty annoyed about not being a part of some problem I was a bit part of, but still I knew the others were right and they only wanted me to stay alive. Rose had been close to dying before so had Jason – all because of me. So I felt bad getting annoyed too.
I’d also made a huge mistake opening my e-mail. Lisa, my best friend from Denmark, had been writing a couple of times and now seemed impatience to hear from me too. That didn’t help on my conscience at all. I was reading the same e-mail over and over again. I just didn’t know what to write back. I simply had no normal people news to tell her. “Hi Lisa, sorry, I’ve been at the hospital because I was kidnapped by a vampire, but my werewolf boyfriend saved me. But the good news is that I don’t need glasses anymore!”
That would simply not work. I put on some music to relax my mind. I’d almost made up my mind by now, I needed to cut her off again. It was for the best. What if she got too involved with me again and she’d start being targeted by all sorts of creatures? By now I knew werewolves, witches, and vampires existed, but when would that list end? I wouldn’t say I’d become paranoid, but I’d certainly started seeing the world with a new set of eyes. Actually that was literally true, but I could feel I’d started changing.

I heard a knocking on my door.

“Come in.”
I looked at the door and saw Derek enter my room. I was still sitting at my desk staring into my computer screen.

“What are you up to?” he asked anxiously.

“Uhm.. not much. Just.. answering an e-mail.” I said looking down my keyboard.

“Is there something else going on?”

“You can feel it all the way downstairs? I even put some music on.. I don’t wanna disturb you guys.”

I knew Derek must have felt I was upset, it was a bit scary how much his senses had improved.

“Yes.. and music can’t cover up your emotions. Do you want to talk about it?” He asked and sat down on my bed.”

I guess he was afraid he was the problem, because he didn’t go all the way over to me.

“I don’t know. You have plenty of problems to deal with downstairs, I think those are more relevant to the world than my own personal battles.” I said, trying to pull off a smile. But I already knew I couldn’t fool him – not anymore.

“Your problems aren’t irrelevant. Look I know this isn’t easy for you, not being able to help and all.. but if you struggle with something else it’s not gonna be easier, right? So at least.. just tell me what it is even though you think I can’t help.” He said. He’d folded his hands and rested his elbows on his knees while looking at me.

I sighed and stood up from my chair. I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk about Lisa without crying while sitting down and looking tight into his eyes. Therefore I tried a new strategy by walking over and sit next to him. That way it was easier to avoid eye contact.