Softer Side

Chapter thirty-six

"Niall come on" I laugh as he jumps out of the car, pouting as he walks towards Louis' front door. His hands were shoved deep into his checkered trousers pockets as he huffs, playing with one of his keys.

"Stupid Boxing Day party... stopped me getting a blow-" he mumbles before the door opens to reveal a beaming Becky. His eyes lifting as he looks at her, her eyebrows raising as I shake my head.

"Didn't have enough breakfast" I laugh as she nods, hugging me tightly before touching Niall's arm lightly. "I told him it was a big dinner tonight though" I laugh softly as she nods, closing the door behind us. It was so nice to spend Boxing Day with my other two favourite people and some of our mutual friends. Ariella had gone to Harry's at lunchtime yesterday with a lot of awkwardness between the two of us. The morning had been wonderful with myself and Niall having lots of fun with my daughter, followed by an afternoon of Christmas lunch and films with Niall.

It was the perfect day. "Oi oi!" Louis cheers as he comes down the hallway, pulling Niall into a hug with a smile. "Woman" he teases as I shove him lightly, being dragged into a tight hug by him. "Come grab a beer mate" he smiles to Niall, patting his shoulder before looking back at me. "There's wine, spirits, beers, whatever you want love" he says softly as I nod, thanking him before hanging up my jacket. I walk into Louis' kitchen, smiling as I see some people I knew from when I was dating Harry, avoiding the awkward questions about what had happened between us.

I look down at my outfit, wearing a simple pair of skin tight blue wash jeans and a floral shirt today so I looked a little formal but nothing too fancy. I lift my glass into my hand, sipping the white wine that graced my lips. I look around, spotting somebody I knew before walking over to them with a smile, having not seen Becky since she let us through the door.

~~~~~~~

I hum softly as I slowly move my head forwards, still holding my wine glass in my hand as I look into the blue eyes before me. There stood Niall in front of me with his lips crazy close to mine, my lower lip now between my teeth. His lips were infectious and something I craved when they weren't there. I feel his lips ghost against mine as he suddenly pulls away, coughing awkwardly when we see Becky and Louis standing beside us. "Mistletoe always gets to most unexpected people" Louis laughs as I nod, agreeing with him before finishing my wine quickly.

"I'm uh- I'm just going to get another glass" I smile, quickly moving from the situation and heading to the kitchen. Niall followed a few seconds later to get himself another drink too, both of our hearts pounding that we were almost caught kissing. I raise my eyebrows to him as he laughs, moving a different way to avoid anything behind obvious.

Louis looked up, instantly blushing as he sighs softly. His eyes fell to the girl before him, somebody he had felt something for for a long time. A feeling he wasn't quite sure of if he was honest. His fingers slid into his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his heels. "You look great" he says softly, lifting one hand out of his pocket to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly.

"You look good too Lou" Becky says softly, her eyes on her shoes as he sighs lightly. She looked up briefly, instantly looking back down as she smiles at the floor, Louis lifting her chin lightly.

"Fuck" he mumbles, leaning forward and taking her cheek into his hand lightly. When Becky didn't kiss back straight away he went to step back, removing himself from her space, but she pulled him closer. Their bodies now pressed together as she sighs happily, resting her forehead against his. "That damn mistletoe" he laughs as she smiles softly.

"Can we go somewhere a little quieter to talk?" She says softly as he nods, cocking his head towards the stairs. They knew there was some sort of tension they needed to address, and some things they really needed to say to each other now Becky wasn't tied up in an engagement anymore. She had her best friend back, but she wasn't so sure if that's all she really thought of him as.

His bedroom door closed, closing off the world outside and allowing the two to have a conversation they needed to have. Being able to spend that time together since they hadn't been able to properly for a while.

~~~~~~~

Later that afternoon we had decided to take a walk to try and work off some of the food we had eaten and the alcohol we had drunk. I sigh softly when we leave the house, shivering slightly at the cold. Niall was walking with some old friends they knew from the time in the band leaving me by myself. I pull my hat further over my ears, looking around at the snow on the ground pin the streets of London.

"We should go to see that Christmas market!" I hear Louis cheer as my heart sinks. My eyes go wide and I know Niall sensed my uncomfortable manner when he reappeared by my side.

"I don't want to go" I mumble, shaking my head quickly as he sighs softly, touching my shoulders as he looks into my eyes. "You know the memories behind that place Niall... I can't do it" I whimper as he hugs me tightly, his hand in my hair as I sigh softly in his touch.

"Come on darlin', you can do it... you've got me by your side and we can go and get a little decoration for the two of us yeah?" He says softly as I sigh and nod slowly. "If it gets too much we can go back home and cuddle with a film" he whispers, looking down at me. He couldn't kiss me or go too far because people would notice and I hated that, I needed comfort now and he couldn't give me that.

I nod slowly, agreeing to do this but not too willingly. I sigh, feeling his hand rub my back gently before catching up to the group with me, my stomach churning at the thought. The last time I wa where was just before Christmas the year before with Harry when he bought Ariella that castle set for Christmas. I look around as we enter the field, surrounded by twinkling lights and happy people.

I was not. I wanted to hold Niall's hand, kiss him and be affectionate with him, but right now he was halfway down the street to me. My heart sank when I saw Louis with his arm around Beckys shoulders, laughing happily with his friends. I missed having that affection, craving it more than I should when it came to Niall. Louis leant down to whisper something in Beckys ear, causing her to laugh and shove him away, a wide smile on her lips as he chuckled, pulling her closer. What was up with those two?

We arrived at a bar, my body standing at the bar as Niall stood beside me. "I want to go home" he mumbled as I nod with a small smile, agreeing with him. "It's not fair, everyone can be so open but we can't right now" he whispers as I nod, smiling sadly at him as he touches my back lightly.

"Like you said yourself, soon" I say quietly as he nods with a chuckle.

"Soon" he whispers with a smile on his lips, taking his beer from the bar. A wink was thrown my way before he headed back to stand beside Louis, both of us planning a way mentally on how we could head home to spend some time alone together.