CONFESSIONS TO BENJAMIN [COMPLETED]

Forty-nine

PINAGMASDAN ni Marifa si Benj habang hinimas-himas nito ang ulo ng aso na noon ay mahimbing nang natutulog. Ang kaninang injured nitong paa ay may balot ng bandage. It was like that night when Benj treated the pregnant dog into the same apartment, at ano man ang gawin ni Marifa, hindi niya mapigil ang paglaganap ng paghanga para sa binata. She was carefully watching him, his movements and even his breathing at narealized niya, walang nagbago rito for the last two years. Kahit sa nararamdaman niya rito ay wala ring nagbago. She is still truly, madly, and deeply in love with him.

"Nabigyan ko na siya ng first aid," sabi nito na naglakad palapit sa kaniya. "Hindi naman gaanong malala yung injury sa right foot niya so I assure you that its going to be fine."

"Oh, gosh," wika niya na nakahinga nang maluwag sa narinig na tinuran nito. "Thank you so much."

Sinulyapan niya si Benj at nakita niyang nakatitig ito sa kaniya. Different emotions could be seen into his eyes. Napapalunok na nag-iwas siya ng paningin. Ang dami-dami niyang nakaplanong sasabihin sana rito pero ngayon ay tila ba bigla na namang tumiklop ang kaniyang dila. She was waiting for him to talk first but he remained just staring at him. Ilang sandaling nakabibinging katahimikan ang namagitan sa kanila.

"S-so, um, k-kamusta na?" aniya nang hindi na matiis ang katahimikang namamagitan sa kanila. "I have no idea na nakauwi ka na pala from the States."

"Well, I just came home today, actually." tugon nito na nanatiling nakatitig sa kaniya. "When we saw each other earlier, I was on my way to this apartment of mine. I got a little distracted while driving. I'm really sorry,"

Napatango-tango siya. For the last years, she has a firm belief that destiny is playing a joke with them. Nagsimula sa aksidenteng pagkikita nila sa may fast food restaurant at aksidente ring pagkakapili niya na magsulat ng article para rito. But tonight, she really do think it was not a joke anymore. Naniniwala siya na sadyang ginamit ng tadhana ang naturang aso upang muling magtagpo ang mga landas nila nito. She knows that she would regret it bigtime if she would waste that chance so she is not going to do that. Gagamitin niya ang pagkakataong iyon upang masabi rito ang lahat ng nilalaman ng kaniyang dibdib.

"Listen, Benj, I don't know how to put this through but I want to say sorry, too. I'm sorry for what happened two years ago. I'm sorry if I hurt you." gumaralgal ang kaniyang tinig sa biglang paglaganap ng pinipigilang emosyon sa kaniyang loob. "Like what I told you, I never wish to be a hindrance to your dreams. When I learned about the offer, wala na akong ibang maisip kung hindi yung pangarap mong makapangibang-bansa, and so I let you go. Pinakawalan kita kahit masakit sa'kin kasi gusto kong matupad mo yung pangarap na 'yon."

"You know what? I don't know. You keep on saying that it's my dream and that I should choose it kaya itinuloy ko ang pag-alis. Pero alam mo kung ano? I never feel truly fulfilled. For the last two years, I was this man they used to call successful. But deep inside, something is not working right. Something feels so... empty." sumulyap ito sa kaniya at direktang tinitigan ang kaniyang mga mata. "Maybe, it's really you right from the start. Maybe, you are the dream that I was yet to achieve, Marifa. Kung ibabalik ang panahon at kailangan ko uling mamili, ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin ko, alam mo ba 'yon?"

Hindi na napigil ni Marifa ang paglantad ng kaniyang emosyon. Tuluyan nang pumatak ang kaniyang mga luha. Niyakap niya ito nang napakahigpit.

"Let me tell you something, Benj. Kung ibabalik ang panahon at kailangan ko rin uling mamili, ikaw na ang pipiliin ko, alam mo ba 'yon? Ikaw lang at wala nang iba." umiiyak na sabi niya rito. "Do you think we can put another chapter in our long overdue story for the third time?"

Kumalas sa pagkakayakap niya si Benj. Pinagsalop nito ang mga palad sa magkabila niyang pisngi. In his kiss, she found his answer.

"You don't even have to ask," makahulugang sabi nito matapos siyang pagkalooban ng isang halik. "I love you."

Napangiti siya. She promised herself that she would give anything just to hear those three words from his lips again, and now that she did, she can't feel more complete. Ginawaran niya uli ito ng isa pang halik sa mga labi.

"Let me confess something to you," masuyo niyang sabi rito habang nakahawak sa mga pisngi nito. "I love you, too."

Sa pagkakataong iyon ay si Benj naman ang napangiti. Kinabig siya nito at sa ikalawang pagkakataon ay muli silang nagsalo sa isang mahigpit na yakap. They both know that exact moment that their story need not to be cut short anymore. They all have the time in the world. In fact, they even have the whole lifetime to confess their love to each other every day.

•••WAKAS•••