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XXXIII: Letting go

[Yena's POV]

Days ofter Hyewon came back. The others started to disappear.

Minju isn't in her room anymore. I dont know where she went or something but she seems to go back by night.

Sakura has been quiet. She's always been quiet though, but last time I heard of her was when she was with Chaeyeon.

Chaeyeon hasn't been keeping in touch as well. I wanted to go to Sakura's room to see if she's there but I dont want to interfere.

Wonyoung has been studying for her tests and she isnt in her room most of the time. They say she'll come back after a month or so.

Yujin is on a lockdown. I heard that she wants to go out but her condition is getting worse. So the Doctors decided to make her stay in her room.

Hyewon is still the same but the nurses seem to trap her in her room as well. After the Missing Hyewon case they look out for her more often than before.

And Yuri is just being stubborn again. I thought we were okay since she talked to me last time. But now she locks herself from the world again.

It is a bit late so I decided to walk around the hospital. After walking for a bit long, I decided to have fresh air. So I went to the garden, Even though I hate this place.

I remember when I used to water these plants everyday. The memory makes me nostalgic. And the sky right now is perfectly changing its color which makes the mood so perfect. All I need now is music, so I played the song "놓아 놓아 놓아 (Letting go)" by Day6.

I just stared into the sky while feeling the lyrics of the song. I mumble some of the lyrics as well. I remembered when I played this song at this exact spot last time.

괜히 생각나는 우리
I remember our good times
웃으며 장난치던 날들
The days of laughter and fun

Those were the days when everything was okay. I mean I feel fine now but those were just the happy days.

너무도 소중한
Memories ever so precious
기억들이 가득 차올라
Fill up inside me
원하지 않지만
Although I don’t want to

Those memories were good but I have to forget about them. The sky finally turned to a dark blue color. I kept looking at the sky as I felt another person took the earphone from one of my ear.

붙잡고 있는 건
Holding on to you
널 위한 게
Will do you no good

She listened to the song while sitting next to me. I knew who the person was so I didnt dare to look. This exact scene has happened before, so it made it more nostalgic.

아닌 걸 알기에 억지로 너를 밀어내
I know, so I struggle to get you out
함께한 시간을 우리 추억을
The times we had together, our dear memories
놓아 놓아 놓아
I let go, let go, let go
언젠가 웃을 수 있게
So you can smile someday

I actually dont want to see her or be with her but this scene just feels right. And I just feel so calm.

The song ended after a while. And I still stared at the sky. My heart beated a bit faster than usual. Everything just seems to come back, even if I dont want to.

"The song seemed to fit the mood" I still stared at the sky and nodded. "I remember when we used to play songs here, so ... you want to let it all go"

*I nodded and hummed yes. "I already let it all go" then I finally looked at her. She looked at me with a smile then turned her gaze to the sky.

"Well ... I didn't" I looked at her as she was still looking at the sky. "Then you should. I haven't fully let go actually but I'm slowly doing it"

"Why Let go?" She looked at me. So now were staring at each other. I cant really read what she's thinking. "I mean why should we let go? Would that one big mistake cover our great memories together? I couldn't let that go. Yeah, I already let you go. But our memories? That's all I have of you"

"That one mistake changed my life" She suddenly had a bitter smile. She felt apologetic and sad. "I know, it changed mine as well"

"It wasnt really your fault. You had no choice, my parents seem to forgive you though. But what happened still has a mark inside of me" as I said those words she had a hopeful smile.

"Still, You were hurt. And if I were to go back in time, I would stop myself from hurting you and the people around you" she started to come closer to me until we sat next to each other. "That's why I want to let it go.

I know that when I let everything go. I could start new, fresh. Away from all that chaos, I'm already trying to start new with my new friend Yuri"

She gave me a smile. "Yuri? She's actually nice, I liked talking to her and spending time with her. But the real reason that I first talked to her was you" wait did she say me? Why me? "Why?"

"At first glance, you looked like her. So everytime I spent time with her I was thinking of you" Yuri actually looks like Chaewon at first glance as well but I didnt really give it that kind of thought.

"Chaewon, I-" she placed a finger on my lips and shushed me. "I still like you, and my feelings hasn't changed since ... you know"

Her finger was still resting on my lips. And I didnt know how to react. Do I still like her? I dont know. I haven't really gave that a thought since I'm already letting her go.

"I know that I did you wrong and I'm sorry. Really really sorry. I know that I already let you go. And you may already found someone else but I just can't forget about you" then she became quiet. We just stared at each other for a few seconds.

Then she was slowly coming closer to me. I didnt move, I was just frozen as a statue as she kept coming closer.

Am I still mad at her?

Do I already forgive her?

I still feel the sting from the past

I feel weird inside, my heart is just beating so fast

After all she's done why should I forgive her?

No, I should never forgive her

I could forgive her but never give her a second chance

One mistake was good enough

I would never- then her lips touched mine. She held me and pulled me closer to her. She stared at me as I still sat frozen in place.

I dont know what I'm feeling right now. But everything just feels calm. She started to close her eyes and move her lips. I dont want to admit it but I actually missed this. I was having second thoughts if I would kiss her back or not. But after her light around my nape, I kissed her back.

After a few seconds she finally stopped. Then she placed her head in my chest.

"I missed you and I'm never letting you go anymore"