Your voice | yenyul

XXXIV: Confused

Should I accept her again or no?

If I'd accept her, it's like i'm saying that I forgive her from what she did.

But ... Do I want to accept her?

Argghhhh! I've been stuck in my room since yesterday thinking about the same question, over and over. After what just happend my mind is just completely confused.

I decided to call Chaeyeon and ask her to go to the hospital. Since we've been friends for many years, I guess I could ask her for help. A little bit after lunch she came to my room. "Good thing you didn't go to Sakura unnie's room"

"Eyyy ... Of course i'd go to you. 'Cause I already went to her yesterday" I hit her lightly as we both laughed. After the laughter I remembered my problem.

"I need serious help!" She gave me a questioning look. So I told her everything that happened since last night. She was a bit surprised about Chaewon. Because I dont really talk about her.

"That is serious! I didn't know that you're a playgirl" she was teasing me. "What do you mean!?" Then we playfully hitted each other.

"I mean ... you kissed Chaewon, The girl you hate! While you and your girlfriend are in a fight. That's called cheating Yena" Aishhhh ... sometimes I just want to really hit her. "What girlfriend?"

"Yuri" then she ran to the other side of the room as I tried to hit her with my pillow. "Why? Dont tell me you really think of her as a friend"

"Honestly, my mind is just confused with everything" I mean I really never thought of Yuri as anything except for a friend. But I want to take care of her and be with her. With Chaewon I want to stay away from her, I dont want to make the same mistake as before. But there's something telling me to go back to her.

"I just dont know!"

"How about I'll test you? Game?" I nodded. I dont know what kind of test she's planning but I somehow trust her.

"You'll just have to pick Chaewon or Yuri. You cant say both, you have to choose one" I was weary but I said yes to everything she said.

"First, person you want to hang out when your sad"

"Uhh ... Yuri"

"Good start, Better kisser?"

"Do I really have to answer that? Next question please. That's just ridiculous"

"Alright AHAHAH. You'd want to spend late night talks with ..."

"Chaewon, when you say night its her"

"Want to stay in bed with ..."

"Yuri, fluffy pillow"

"The person who you feel closer with?"

"Chaewon"

"Actually this is going nowhere. Your just saying Yuri then Chaewon, then repeat"

"Those are just my real answers"

"The person you want to spend the rest of your week with?"

"Hmmm? I guess ... Yuri?"

"Then we have a winner!!!"

"But ..."

"But?"

"... I want to spend time with Chaewon as well"
"I haven't talked to both of them for a bit. Arrghhhh!! I just don't know"

"Then just give up! Reject Chaewon then forget about Yuri. Then you could date ... Yuqi AHAHAHAH" I gave her a slap on her shoulder. "Yahh that's disgusting! No dating between us four!"

"Waeee? You said you dont know. So, I said my opinion" forget her opinion. I shouldve just asked Yiren to help me.

"Just forget it. You cant help me! Plus Yuri might not even like me that way" its true that we treat each other different at times but we dont really say that we like each other. That's why I'm confused if I like her or not. Yuri shouldn't even be in my choices.

I need an answer if I should accept Chaewon or not.

"Boo! Your boring! AHAHAH Of course she likes you, you obviously like each other" still I cant just assume that she likes me. And I dont know about my feelings for her either."Ahhhhhhh!!! *I looked up* Can you give me a sign!?"

Knock knock

"Looks like your sign is here AHAHAH" I ignored what she said and told her to open the door since I'm still in crisis here. "See I was right! Your sign is here"

"What sign?" It was Yuri, she was questioning what Chaeyeon said. "Oh! That's abou-" "No, no, no! That's nothing. Uhhhhh ... Chae aren't you going to Sakura unnie's room?"

"Wait, what!?" I gave her a look that says leave. "Oh ... yeah I should go to her *then she faced Yuri* Yuri fighting!!! Don't worry, I'm voting for you" then she tapped her on the shoulder then finally left.

"What does she mean by- " "Nothing! She's crazy ... I think Sakura unnie influenced her" she was slowly nodding but she also looked confused. "Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice. I dont know why but I somehow miss you being annoying in my room" oh, I was not really expecting her to say that. Wheww ... this just makes me more confused. "Ahh ... your saying that you just miss me?" She smiles shyly, while blushing a little.

"Aigoooo! Little Joyul is blushing" then I shaked her hair. Which made her smile and blush more. "Unniee, stop!" She said it the most cutest way.

"How could I stop when your such a cutie. Your like a baby" then I pinched her cheeks. "Yahh! I'm not a baby!"

"You are so. Even if you have white hair, i'll treat you like a baby~" she just kept smiling and telling me to stop.

"Pshh ... whatever!" then she layed in my bed. She even wrapped herself in my blanket. "What are you doing?"

"Babies need to sleep in the afternoon and your bed is super comfy" then I layed next to her.

She closed her eyes and hugged me. She placed her head in my chest and hugged me tighter. "What are you doing?" I said as I hugged her back.

"I'm afraid. Can I hug you for a bit longer?" Then she just kept hugging me. "You can hug me all you want" Then later on she fell asleep while hugging me. And since I didn't want to wake her up, I didnt move and just kept on hugging her.

I actually am still confused on what to answer Chaewon. But all I can say is that being here with Yuri makes me relaxed and that I dont have to be confused anymore.