BTS Imagines Ft. AMBW

I Feel Insecure & Sad.

I woke to a cold breeze coming from the open window next to my bed. I saw the cloudy skies and dark clouds rolling in. I sat up and wrapped my snoopy throw blanket around me walking over to my window and quickly shutting it as the window violently blew through the room. I sat there staring at the rain hitting the window. Normally I am a very upbeat, and cheery person but today my mood matched the weather outside and I just knew it wasn't going to be one of my best days.

I sighed getting up and walking to the kitchen grabbing a apple strudel and heading to the living room and sitting in the couch watching random YouTube videos and even letting out a laugh every now and again, but it wasn't making me feel better completely. I watched a few more videos and then got up and headed back to my room. I grabbed my phone and hoped on instagram and scrolled for awhile feeling sad. I then got on twitter and saw everyone talking about when they went to the BTS concert years prior and it hit me, I am suppose to go to the concert in 12 days time but it's been canceled due to the entire pandemic. I took to my group chat of friends I've made because of BTS years ago and expressed my sadness and how much I miss the boys and my insecurities. They reassured me it's ok to feel this way, and I then took to my Alexa and listened to my sad BTS songs. I cried as I listened to Magic Shop, Euphoria, Truth Untold, Mikrocosmo but it all hit me differently when Epiphany came on. I ugly cried while I hugged my Koya to my chest wishing for my RJ! (He is outta stock right now) Swaying side to side as I cry more and more.

Then I thought how Jin would want me to love myself all of the guys would. They would be disappointed that I wasn't loving myself they way they want us too. I cried a little longer then wiped my tears away. Went to my bathroom, grabbed my facial sponge, wiped my tears and face and scrubbed my face with a facial wash and then went back to my room and turned on the savage Remix with Beyoncé and reminded myself that I am a Bad Bitch and that BTS wants me to love myself! It's not always easy but it has to be done.
I put on a mud mask and danced around my room to savage again and then even did the toosie dance like J-Hope, and Drake's KeKe dance! Lol

The bottom line is you are beautiful and need to know your worth and if you don't know it yet, it's okay honey, take it one day at a time. Not everyday is going to be as spectacular and amazing as the previous, you will have your bad days but know there are many good days ahead as well.

This isn't really a normal upload because this was literally about me and this is exactly how my day went today, but I want to be an encouragement to anyone struggling with self love. It's not always easy but you got this bby and I'm proud of each step you take! I'm always here to talk if you ever need it and if you want can even give you my Twitter and IG! Lol💕 lovelies you mean so much to me and you don't even know it!💕 I wish only the best for you!!!
Also it's okay to cry it out, honestly I normally feel 10x better after a good cry and a really good cry will put me to sleep and those end up being my best night of sleep ever! So it's ok to cry, talk it out with someone, sing, dance, do anything creative like art, cooking, baking anything of the sorts. Just know it's ok to not be ok and that there are brighter days ahead of you. ☺️
And I think I will be uploading a chapter tonight later on! Oh and a kickass song I love listening too after a good cry is Demi Lovatos - I love me! It's good the lyrics speak VOLUMES! Give it a listen! Stay Amazing, Stay Beautiful lovelies!! (Thanks for 8k Reads too, you guys are the BEST!!!)

Idk if I shared but I chopped my hair, Quarantine got to me and I was inspired by Big Chops one night so the next day I had it chopped! 😂

And it's like a funky blue/green color. Lol hope ya like it! 💕😘