Take My Hand | KNJ ONE-SHOTS & IMAGINES

Anxiety

You wake up surrounded by darkness. There's a tightness in your chest that feels suffocating. You try to take a deep breath, but all that you can manage is a short, shallow intake. You can feel it coming for just a split-second before it actually hits.

The tears flow freely down your cheeks like twin rivers that have overflowed their banks. Sobs wrack your body as your torso is brought upwards by the force of them. Your heartbeat resounds in your ears. What's happening?! What's wrong?! I...

The thoughts come in all at once, rushing at you like a wave; fully intent on drowning you. You're nothing. They don't love you. It's all a lie. You're a loser. Nothing can save you from this, from me. You're mine.

You try to fight them with positive thoughts, sure thoughts. But even those are quick to waver and sputter out. You begin to spiral as it becomes harder to breathe. Is there a way out of this? You're drowning now. The negative thoughts have overtaken you.

You cover your eyes, wishing you could just die. That would be a permanent way to escape these feelings, wouldn't it? A sure way. Haven't you always had the "what if"s? What if you just ended things? What if you decided to...?

You grab your phone and send a text to your best friend. "Are you awake? I just started crying and I don't know why! I can't stop". You shut your screen off, biting back sobs. You know he probably won't text back. He's probably sleeping.

But you need him! You always try to be there for him when he needs you, so he should be here for you now that you really need him. But what if he's not? What if he leaves you high and dry? Oh, the idea of it is enough to bring fresh tears down your cheeks. Please don't. Please don't. I need you. I need you.

Your phone chimes.

Yoongz😈🥰 is typing...

From Yoongz😈🥰.

Your heart leaps as you hug your phone to your chest. "Oh, thank God, thank God, thank God..." You swipe at your eyes with one hand as you open Yoongi's message.

"What's up, weirdo?"

"Yoongi, I—I don't know! I just can't stop crying! I feel so alone; I can't get out of my head." Your vision blurs as you type out your response.

Your phone vibrates in your hand. Yoongi sent you a voice message. When his voice hits your ears, you shut your eyes. "What's the matter? Tell me."

You shake your head, typing back a reply. "I honestly don't know. It just hit, and now I can't stop it. Like, I would do anything for a hug right now."

Yoongi's Bitmoji pops up, then disappears. He's not going to message back.

You lay in the dark, trying to regain control of yourself. After what feels like an eternity, you find some shaky sense of calm. Your cheeks feel stiff with dried tears.

A knock sounds at your door. You smooth down your hair, hurrying to answer it. You peek out the window, catching sight of Yoongi standing on your porch. Your heart leaps hard in your chest. You take a deep breath, feeling a few stray tears slip down your cheeks. You open the door, and almost immediately Yoongi's arms are around you. "Are you okay?"

"Yoongi?" You inhale his scent as he holds you.

"Hey." He pulls back, brushing his fingers against your cheek.

You let him in, leading him to your room. You both settle under the covers, and he pulls you into him. He rests his palm against your chest, his head cocked and his eyes closed. "Your heart rate is slowing down. Is there anything you need right now?"

"Some water, please?" you ask.

"Of course." Yoongi kisses your forehead before he slides out of bed. He returns a few moments later with a bottle of cold water and a blanket. "I noticed you were shivering, so I brought an extra blanket for you." He climbs back in bed beside you, watching carefully as you take a sip of water.

"Did you come all this way just for me?" you ask, feeling your face flush as you come to rest against his chest again.

"Of course I did." Yoongi says this so nonchalantly, like it's the most obvious answer in the world. "You're my best friend. I know sometimes it seems like I don't care, but I love you so much. I know how it feels to get stuck in ruts like this." He pauses, idly playing with your hair. "I don't want you to ever feel like you're alone. Because you're not. I'm with you. I'll always be here for you. I love you."

"Thank you, Yoongi. I love you."

For a while, there is only silence. Then Yoongi hums. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes," you reply. "I don't know what came over me, but I feel so much better now." You snuggle closer to him.

"Good, I'm glad. Now, it's time to rest, okay? I'll be here all night, so you don't need to worry."

Shortly after, you fall into a deep sleep. When you awaken late the next morning, Yoongi is still in bed, scrolling through his phone. When you stir, he smiles. "Hey, how do you feel?"

You kiss his cheek. "I'm so glad you're my best friend."

"We'll fight the sad shit together," Yoongi murmurs. "It won't always be easy, but I'll try to be here for you as best I can."

"Yoongi." You feel your heart skip a beat as you scoot away from him, covering your face with your hands. "You know what really messed me up before you came?"

"What?" he asks.

"I got stuck on the idea that you didn't love me anymore for some reason; that we weren't really friends. I know it doesn't make sense, but I couldn't shake it." You feel a heaviness start to settle on your chest again.

Yoongi rolls over to face you, pulling you into his chest. "Listen to me, okay? We will always be friends. Nothing could ever make me love you any less than I do now. I'll try to do a better job of reassuring you, okay?"

As fresh tears slip down your cheeks and soak through Yoongi's shirt, you smile. It's okay. It's okay because Yoongi's here. He's here now, and he always will be.

I went through something similar to this last night. I'm feeling better though, so don't worry! I just wanted to put something out lol I hope you guys enjoyed this super short addition! Talk to me in the comments! I love you!