CONFLICTED

Chapter 7| PTSD

“Conflicted got #2 rank in anotherlovestory this week.”

Chapter 7: PTSD

I gave it a thought and turns out, it was actually somewhat true. There were times too when I felt like I couldn't trust anyone. I'd been just like Anna before Kelvin managed to bring me out of my shell years ago. No one liked me, my father loathed me, and so I hated everyone else in return.

"So tell me, I would really like to know what's bothering you."

I looked up at Anna one last time to figure out what she wanted to gain from all these, but all I could see was a friend. Annabelle and I were different from this world and we were from the same world too, altogether.

Being black was a thrill but because we were both partly white, we were kind of deprived from enjoying the rights of being partly black too. People saw my mixed features and omitted me from group discussions because they probably felt I couldn't relate with them and their culture.

She trying to be friends with me made sense after all and the fact that I had some amount of affection towards her made it all seem like I'd won a lottery.

I shook my head and looked out the window towards the September afternoon sky.

"After my mom died, her parents neglected my father and I because we weren't one of them, and they in fact blamed us for her death. My father in turn became cold towards me and I was alone and neglected too most of the time but my father's sis was there for me like a mom. She's the only explanation to me having a normal childhood." I chuckled before I continued.

"My father barely told me anything about my mom. The little I know are from his sis and the pictures of her are the only things I could relate to. Recently, he brought in a woman introducing her as his fiancèe and he expects me to act like it's the most normal shit in the world..."

I felt myself boiling up on the inside but instead of hitting something, I ran a hand through my already disheveled hair which was anyway, my second habit when I was nervous or agitated.

I licked my lips and looked at Anna. She just kept quiet and let me take my time.

"I confronted him, asking him if he married my mom because of her wealth and he didn't take it well. At this point, I don't know what to do and I'm confused as hell." I finalized and then smirked, the next words coming out as a dare than a request, "Now, give me a solution to that Anna."

I still did not trust myself with telling my problems to a girl I met just a week ago but at this point, I was open to any idea because I practically was going out of my mind.

"Well I think you need to go back and apologize to him for a number of reasons." she said without flinching.

A second ticked away before a chuckle escaped my lips.

"What the fuck Anna. Did you hear what I just said? He's the one who needs to-"

"Apologize to you?" she cut in with the most neutral expression, "I don't think so."

I exhaled in astonishment, short for words.

"Listen Chris, you think you've suffered shit from a deceased mom but let me tell you for a fact that your pop's probably had it worse. Clearly, he still got PTSD, y'know post traumatic stress disorder. You could've brought him out of it but guess who was busy hating on him for not giving him the life he wanted?

I'd advise that you go back to him and care for him. Let him know you're around even if he'd often try to push you away. I'm sure you're this conflicted because he's not been a total bitch to you. Despite his instability, he provided you with food, shelter and the most qualified education a child can get. Some people are dying to be in your position right now."