CONFLICTED

Chapter 28| Goosebumps

Chapter 28: Goosebumps

Christopher

It was two days after Sunday and everything was calm and quite the same as every other day. I visited the hospital yesterday and everything was the same up there too. I stayed a few hours, updating her on everything that happened lately which wasn't much, and just sat there staring at the damage I've done for most of the time.

It was nightfall and the sky was a shade of blue, black and red. I was out in the balcony reading a novel under the lone light bulb brightening up the place.

Kelvin had been bitching on and on about me being an ass, reading when we were on holiday and that he didn't know who the fuck read during the holidays. Not my words, but his. He had settled for a sex chat with a random girl before I left him in the room.

Thing is, I've been this conflicted person on who I was and who people wanted me to be. The situation I found myself in as a child had created a young boy who freaked people out, one who resolved to isolation and a closed off attitude. That was who I was all my life but people didn't like that me. They wanted me to smile more, to enjoy life more, to lighten up. Kelvin was one of them.

The idea sounded great so I went with it. Laughing to bury my sadness, partying hard to make up for my reserved persona, making friends to hide my disdain for them. But things went topsy-turvy the more. Alas, I decided on staying truthful to who I was and as well as opening up a little to people.

I heard a car zoom in the distant streets until it faded away. I could see why my mom and dad had chosen this place to settle in. It was a peaceful, quiet and loving atmosphere. A place to start life afresh. I watched the trees in our backyard dance to the wind's rhythm and gave myself the freedom to respire into the chilly air and have a sense of liberty for a second.

So much and nothing much had happened within the space of three months which went by in the blink of an eye.

Two months ago, I received my Jamb results and was announced the highest scorer. A government funded organisation of scientists presented me with a scholarship into any Nigerian university of my choice as far as I got admitted into it. Ordinarily, I would have preferred to donate the money to charity instead. They needed it more than I did.

My father was proud. He got what he wanted anyway. I'd been drilled academically to gain recognition and now that I've achieved that, he couldn't be more happier.

I have not heard my father's final decision on the options of my schooling here or overseas. I was to sit for the post utme exam into a private university at Abuja or sit for a scholarship exam into Cambridge. He was still weighing his choice between the school I entered during my utme registration and the school he really wanted for me. Either way, I didn't want to think about it.

You know, for a man that had enough money in his bank account, I wondered why my entire schooling was paramount on scholarship. I got my first bounty prize money that footed my school bills when I was in primary three from a quiz competition I represented my school for and won. After graduating out of elementary school, I took a scholarship exam into junior school and the same goes for my senior education. I would've taken yet another scholarship exam into Chrisland high if I had entered as a senior year freshman.

The balcony door opened and Aunt Lydia appeared halfway between the door.

"Chris. Dinner's ready."

"Be there in a minute." I replied and she left.

I marked off the page I stopped at in the novel with an eidetic memory. Folding pages was not my thing and I was without a pencil.

The novel was written by a famous black African-American neurologist, Dr. Ben Carson. My grandmother had gifted me the book just the day before. She sent it through my father who had gone to pay her a visit and I had taken the novel to be a special gift from her since then.