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Seowoo layed on the bed in what was the very nice looking infirmary- her eyes gazing up at the white ceiling as the fan spun around in captivating circles.
A part of her wished she could be more fearless, shoot a man or two in the head without blinking but it was more easier said than done.
Because in that moment...the moment as the heavy gun sat in her control, in her hands, she could feel the sins weighting her down.
Taking a life wasn't something she wanted to do, not after watching her own brother be so brutally murdered in front of her eyes.
Her voided brown eyes stared immobile at the bleak ceiling as she could feel the vibrations of the bullets ringing through the air- the sickening scream and the revving of engines followed by a silence.
It felt as though the air was thick once again, every single part of her body freezing up as she watched his life be taken.
Nine months, it had been nine months yet it felt like yesterday.
Sometimes it hurts so much that you stop hurting.
You stop hurting until something makes you feel it again and it all comes back- every hurt you've felt rushes down- encasing you in the claws of its demise as you plead for an exit.
The avalanche doesn't stop, it only gets worse as you feel yourself being dug deeper and deeper till you lose yourself within it.
Trapped, trapped in the tornado that spins relentless around your frantic frame.
Heart aching as your eyes stay bleak.
Chest pounding as you remain still.
Overfilling with gut wrenching emotions yet you feel nothing at all.
Something on that day triggered the overwhelming need to save everyone- unable to live with the thought of people being senselessly murdered yet...she was rendered useless.
Who was she kidding?
She was stupid, totally and utterly useless and stupid that everyone could see it. Everyone dismissed her actions for idiocy- which they were but no one could see the reason why. Obsessive over the need to avenge her brother as if it would make him magically appear again.
As if it never happened.
Maybe that's what she was desperately wanting, it to never have happened. Unable to stop the deafening screams from ringing in her ears- the same feeling clenching at her heart and clawing up her throat.
Stuck in a trance of her own nightmares that consumed her that she didn't notice the figures entering the room.
Only when they stepped in her eyeline, is when she jolted slightly. Blinking away her daze as she gulped down the feeling that brewed and instead flickered her eyes around at the four faces.
