All is Found

40

Once we had everything we left for the red carpet. Alyssa and Nikki were both going to be with me as I walked the carpet. As we got out of our car, Nikki and I handed over our guitars to one of the stage hands for the show. We only made it down a few feet of the carpet before I started to roll up the sleeves of my shirt because it was actually hot out.

Walking the carpet was just as bad as I remember. All the photographers yelling for your attention and them getting mad when you don't give it to them. Then the interviewers for all the different networks and news outlets wanting. Alyssa forced me into some carpet interviews with a few of the bigger named outlets as we slowly made our way down the carpet.

By the time we made our way inside all I wanted to do is sit in front of a a/c vent to cool off. Nikki took her jacket off as we walked to the bar backstage. After downing a lot of ice water, Alyssa walked us over to a dressing room so we could touch up our makeup and sit down and cool off for a few minutes. Once we were all put together again a stage hand brought us over to our seats for the show.

Somehow we ended up getting to sit in the front row. Nikki actually got to introduce me to Ariana Grande as she was sitting in the seat next to me. During a commercial break of the show Ariana actually introduce us all to Lady Gaga and I think it made my whole year. I don't often get star struck but this one definitely had me reeling.

Finally the show came to the first award I was nominated for, Best Alternative. I'm up against The 1975, Lana Del Ray, Machine Gun Kelly, Twenty One Pilots and All Time Low. To say I'm in good company amongst the group is an understatement. I held my breath as we watched the video announcing all the nominees. Nikki grabbed my hand as the announcer opened the envelope and read out the name of the winner. Ash Monroe.

I could barely believe it. Nikki shook me and pulled me up from my seat before pulling me into a hug. Alyssa hugged me as well and pushed me up towards the stage. I was careful not to fall going up the stairs and took the moon person from the announcer before turning around to look at the crowd.

"This has been a roller-coaster of a year for me. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I could have won this award. I know that I have won VMAs before but this one means the most. At the beginning of this year I was in a really bad place, so bad I didn't want to live anymore. Slowly things have gotten better for me and I'm in a much better place now then before.

"I wrote this song for the fans when I was still with my old label. I played it for my brother and he loved it so much he wanted to leak the song because we knew that it would never see the light of day any other way. He recorded the outro and I never knew. While on tour I was going through old recordings on my laptop and I found it.

"The day I found it I was really missing home and hearing his voice brought me so much comfort. Asher knew this song would be loved by the fans. The fact that this award is voted on by the fans makes this mean even more to me. So this award is as much mine as it is yours.

"Thank you for your continued support while I start the next chapter in my career. Thea, Alyssa, Nikki, Britt, Diego, Asher, Ashley, Lindsey, Jack, Pat thank you all for keeping me sane and supporting all of my crazy decision making. I love you all more then you know. Thank you!" I said and turned away.

We were led back stage and I handed the award back to the stage hand. I manage to find a bathroom on the way back to my seat and I locked myself inside. I gripped the edge of the sink and took a few breaths to calm down. When I looked up I saw Asher and Ashley standing behind me.

"This is the ladies room." I said looked down at the sink.

"That doesn't apply to ghosts Ash." Asher said.