All is Found

41

The day after the VMA's I drove us all home to Salem. Alyssa is flying out of Boston and Nikki will drive her to the airport tomorrow. Needless to say Alyssa has been quite busy with the fall out of my instagram post. I probably should have warned her before I hit send but it's in the past now. Alyssa handled all the interview requests and gave everybody the no comment for a statement. After I gave the acceptance speech at the show, I knew people were going to question if they heard that right. This was my way of saying that yes they did.

When we got home on Monday afternoon Thea was waiting for us on the couch. She was dressed in a pair of shorts and a cut off tee shirt. The late August heat wave brought humid weather to the North East and I wish I could have enjoyed it more before going back to treatment. We didn't stay at home for long. I placed the two shiny new awards on the mantle above the fireplace, repack my backpack with some clothes hugged Alyssa and Nikki and we were out the door. I did stop next door to see Pat before we hit the road though. He was so excited on my win he said he might steal one of the awards by the time I come back.

Thea and I stopped at a small sushi place on our way into Boston and got a chance to have some time together before I won't see her for the next three weeks. Our lunch was nice and I just wish it lasted longer. Soon enough I was hugging and kissing her goodbye and leaving my cell phone with her before walking inside the treatment center.

Three weeks of working on my feeling and emotions was honestly the hardest thing I have ever done before. To be that open and honest with how I was feeling every day was so eye opening to me to see how unhappy I truely was with my life before this. Okay unhappy is a strong word. It's more like I finally have the clarity to see how different events in my life have  affected me mentally. Now when I'm feeling things, I know it's better to feel them instead of bottling them up and leaving them on a shelf forever.

It was actually nerve wracking for me to leave the comfort and peace I've found in the treatment center. I didn't want to go back to the real world just yet but I know I can't stay here in this bubble forever. So when I walked out the door and turned around to look at the place that has given me a new lease on life, I couldn't help but cry a little.

When I wiped my eyes and turned around I found Thea waiting in the same spot she was in when she picked me up for the VMA's weekend. I sighed and smiled still rooted in my spot. We have only talked on the phone three times in the three weeks I've been back here. One call a week for an hour was what I wanted. My doctors have also called Thea while I've been here with updates on how things are going at my request so she wasn't completely in the dark with how I was doing while I was away.

Thea waited patiently as I slowly walked over to her and dropped my duffle bag and backpack to the floor and wrapped my arms around her. I could hear Thea sigh in relief and she wrapped me tightly in her arms. It took a while for us to untangle our arms from each other. When we separated, the chilly late September wind breezed through my hair and I knew it was Asher and Ashley welcoming me back into the real world.

Thea and I got into her truck and she drove us home to my house. When we got there I stood out front of my house and admired the changing colors of the leaves on the trees. Fall is approaching and I was more than excited for my favorite season of the year to start. Thea grabbed my bags out of her truck and brought them inside for me and I followed after her when I was ready.

Nikki was standing in the living room waiting for me to walk inside. I gave her a smile and walked over to give her a hug. When I pulled away the empty mantle caught my attention and I walked over to where a note card was in its place. Chad and Brad are keeping me company until you get you home. ~ Pat