Jamais Vu

Taehyung

Taehyung is not what you think of when you think of a lion.

Sure he's strong, he has the tail and every other part of a lion, that isn't what makes him different.

Taehyung isn't an 'alpha' as he sees it. He might have potential but it doesn't interest him in the slightest.

It could be because his rut hasn't been triggered yet but Taehyung prefers to be peaceful. After the life he's endured, he isn't about to let anyone or anything especially not anything as stupid as "pack rules" determine who he is.

Sure you can say he's submissive, it wouldn't bother him one bit because it's mostly true. Maybe that's why he left his pride recently before deciding to go through school.

He gets into the car he's saved up tirelessly for after delivering pizza to the same address again this week. That's the 4th time this week.

He didn't smell any lions and he doubts other hybrids would work for his pride, but you never know. You can never be too careful. That's why Tae had to turn their offer to come inside down.

They seem nice, but too many people will tear you apart for being too soft, especially when you are of a species known to be tough. He's fine on his own. He keeps his head down and stays out of trouble.

He sighs and looks back at the apartment building from his car as he has yet to pull away.

He would be a liar if he didn't feel the urge to come inside and get to know them everytime he sees the leopard and coyote but that's precisely what scares him.

Caring gets you hurt. Caring always gets you hurt. When you're Taehyung, it does anyways.

He starts his car and pulls away with one last glance at the building. His heart yearns to get to know them, but he doesn't understand why. He has never felt this.. familial pull to anyone. Not even his own pride.

He drives back to the dorms allowed for hybrids and walks up the steps to his door. Everything in him is pulling him back to that apartment and he hates it because he doesn't understand.

He tosses his keys on the table before toeing off his shoes and shedding his work clothes as soon as he's in the door before walking to his bathroom and taking a shower hot enough to wash out the smell of pizza from his shaggy blonde hair.

He towel dries his body when he's done and face plants on his bed still naked, staring at the wall.

Would it hurt to just talk to them? He silently asks himself.

As he falls asleep, his mind drifts to the last place he ever wants it to go- his pride.

---

"When i die, Taehyung. This pride will be in your hands." His appa tells him one night over dinner.

"But what if i don't want to lead appa? I don't want to kill, i want to create" Tae whines, which results in a slap across the face from his father. His blonde mullet flailing wildly at the force of the blow.

This isn't a new thing, being hit or abused, and it certainly isn't the first arguement they've had over this either.

"You are a lion. The head lion's next of kin! How dare you insult our kind by being.. submissive" his Appa spits out the last word as if it were a forbidden cuss word.

"I'm sorry.." Tae whispers, cradling his cheek.

"You aren't a boy anymore, Taehyung. It's time you start acting like it. You will be 22 next month. Don't forget lions go into adult hood when they reach 22" his father tsks at him disapprovingly.

"Yes, Appa" he whispers, not wanting to push his fathers temper any further.

--

Taehyung whimpers in his sleep tossing and turning as memories flood him.

--

"You must prove you are worthy of the title, son. Every lion must do this" his appa stares at him with cold eyes before glancing at the battle scene in front of him.

Various lions all from his pride face off for the chance to face him for the spot of next in line and Taehyung has never hated anything more.

"I don't want this" he whispers again, hoping his appa will hear his pleas this time.

"Do not embarrass me" his appa growls low, making Taehyung cower and take his spot obediently in the battle ring.

"Finally, i get to face you, Taehyung" the growl from his best friend sounds from behind him, making him turn around in the ring.

"Choi.. you? Why?" Taehyung feels tears well up, he can't help it. The betrayal feels like a hot iron to his heart.

"The chance to be second? How could i pass this up? Nothing personal, Tae. You've just.. always been weak"

Tae stares at his only salvation in this pride, hot tears prickling at his eyes.

"I won't fight you. You can have it" Tae whispers and he can hear his appa growl in anger.

Tae turns to walk away but stops when he hears Choi scoff.

"Always knew you were nothing more than a house cat" he sneers. "Always destined to be the lap cat and not the warrior. Maybe you should join the snow leopards? I hear they're soft too"

Tae turns on his heel and marches up to his best friend but his appa's loud thunderous roar stops him from saying anything.

"Enough! You embarrass me enough Taehyung" he marches up to Taehyung, grabbing his wrist with one hand while the other raises up, intending to put him in his place but Tae grabs his wrist as he almost reaches his face, making everyone growl in protest.

"You will unhand me" Taehyung growls low in his throat, which is surely to be read as a challenge.

"You dare challenge me?" His appa roars, his eyes changing to a darker brown in his rage.

"No. I want nothing of this. Of you. Of any of you."

"Then get out. Don't bother coming back. Once you walk out of this door you will be banished for as long as i breathe"

"Gladly" Tae grits out between teeth, turning on his heels and marching out of the doors without another glance back.

__

Tae sits up straight in bed, the memory always making something twist painfully in his chest.

He may have gained his self respect that day, but he lost everything else in the process.

He glances at the clock and sees it barely reads 3 am. He lays back on the bed with a thud, laying his arm over his eyes. He has class tomorrow so he really should get some more sleep.