My Draco

don't jump

I grow weaker by the minute as the next two days go by. Actually I should say fly by. The days went by more quickly then they have before.

I was scared but mainly disgusted with who I have become, the person I am now. Draco hasn't been himself either, he seemed more on the edge and angry with everyone. Everyone except me. I tried my best to comfort him and put him in better moods but nothing seemed to work that well, to make me feel better he would give me a smile but it was fake. I didn't blame him, I felt the same way he did and there was nothing to make us feel better about the task.

When we were surrounded by no one besides each other, we both were at ease. I was so glad to have him back by my side, I don't even know what I would do if we never made up.

The last evening, before we had to follow through with the gut wrenching task, the last evening before doing the unthinkable, the last evening until everyone saw what I really was, was here.

I had skipped dinner.

If I had to look at Dumbledore, with his smiling and gleeful face, I don't think I would be able to control myself and I would burst into pure panic. Just hearing his name made feel light headed.

Draco didn't attend dinner either, for he was in the same state of mind I was in.

Instead of going to the Great Hall we just roamed the school together.

We didn't really say much but his presence was enough.

I soon found myself at the top of the Astronomy Tower. I was so overwhelmed and filled with anger at myself, I had contemplated about jumping off the tall tower as a solution to make everything stop.

I look down at the drop, leaning my head over the railing, my stomach started to churn seeing how it would be a long way down but a quicker way of going.

"Don't do it." I hear Draco say as he appears by my side and placing his hand on the smalls of my back. "Don't jump." He clarifies.

"What other solution do I have?" I say turning to face him.

"Not many but I am not going to lose you again." He says as his hand makes its way up to my warm cheeks.

He cups my cheeks as I look into his grey eyes that gave me comfort and as I do, I felt my nose tingle and my eyes began to water.

Draco wiped away the tears that managed to escape my eyes.

"When this is over, we won't have to follow through with any terrible orders, okay?" He tries to assure me.

I turn away form him and look back out at the grounds, "We don't have a choice, this is who we are, who we have become and we can't escape it." I tell him knowingly that we will have to do anything the dark lord asks.

"I know." he says. I turn to him, "Im happy to have you by my side even though this isn't what I pictured our lives would look like together." I say as a faint laugh escaped my mouth.

I laughed out of shock as I realized I hadn't pictured my life like this at all, to have a boy that I was head over heels in love with, to actually be able to show someone my emotions, to be working for the Dark Lord, being a fucking deatheater, and to have to kill a man that was more than a father to me than my own.

Life's funny. It's like a random string of beads. A chaotic sequence of sparkling, dull, ostentatious and revolting. Each one is linked to the next by the string, by time, but cannot predict what comes next. I'm just...lost.

"Why are you laughing?" Draco asked with confused expression.

"Isn't it just horrible when you wanted your life to be one way but it turns out to be the complete opposite?"

"It is horrible, but not something I would laugh at you psycho." He takes in a breathe, "Am I one of the things you wanted in your life?" He asks.

"Draco, your the only thing I want in my life." I honestly tell him.

I watch as Draco shifted his body close to me.  He takes his hand up to my face and points my face at him so we are able to make eye contact.

"I love you, Tessa."

His lips were slowly brought to mine and we shared a kiss but even that didn't help distract me to how horrible tomorrow evening would be.

I pull away from his kiss, "Im scared to disappoint everyone tomorrow evening..."

"You're not going to disappoint anyone." He reassures me. "Trust me." He says while grabbing onto my hand.

"I hope so."

Before either of us could say something I hear a familiar stern male voice.

———-

Who do you think it is?👀