He's Like a Drug

Birthday Dinner

After my spa treatment everyone said goodbyes and and we all started on our separate ways. Adonis had not only paid for me, he paid for all of us. Not that we couldn't afford it, I guess it was gesture. As I was making my way to my truck I felt a little body wrap around my leg. "Daddy says I can go with you, but I have to make sure it's ok with you first." Dutchess announces while looking at me with those puppy dog eyes. I put my hand on her back and rubbed gentle circles. "Babygirl, normally on my day off you know I wouldn't mind, but I have more things planned today and no children will be around sweetie." I tried to break it to her as gentle as possible, because she can be really sensitive. "Well why don't I bring her by later when you done with your plans?" I heard Adonis voice and realized that he was on speakerphone. Why does he think that's a cool thing to do? Me and Dutchess has a bond and I don't wanna make it seem like I'm just throwing that away, but I need space and time to process this. Ignoring his comment I decided to go about it another route. I pulled her hands from around my leg and squat down in front of her so that we were eye level and I held her hands. "Dutchess sweetheart, listen to me." She nodded her head. "Since today is my birthday I already made plans and like I told grandma Laura when I get back we will go to lunch together, I promise ok?!" Her little face fell and she hung her head sniffling. "Its ok, Dutchess. Let My Rai have her day to herself." Adonis cooed over the speaker of the pink phone she was clutching. It took everything in me not to roll my eyes and cuss his big head ass out. "Give me a hug sweetie. I'll see you in a few days ok? Untill then ask Daddy to help you make a lost of fun things we can do together when I get back." I said quietly in her ear, kissed her cheek and started rubbing circles on her back again. Dutchess took  her father off speaker phone and pressed it to her ear nodding her head and taking deep breaths. I motioned for Laura to come get her as I began to make my exit. "She wanted to come with me, but I got plans so I promised we could spend time together soon as I get back." Laura nodded her head "Understandable, you go and enjoy the rest of your day. I'm gonna take my babygirl to get some icecream." She said winking at me as she reached her hand out for Dutchess. A smile began to form slowly as she waved goodbye to me. Kids are so resilient, I wish it were that easy for me. I sat in my truck and shifted through all the txt messages, missed calls, fb stats, messenger, and emails I had gotten while I was in the shop. It was already 12:45 and I knew Malik would be salty about me making him wait so long after asking him at the last minute to come shopping with us. While I was laughing responding to his angry text message, Johana tapped on my window. I started the car and rolled it down. "You ready for this assault on your bank account?" She asked with a wide grin. "Whatever...I should let you pay for it since you so graciously invited me money bags" I teased her while reading a txt message from Adonis:  So cold 🥶🥶
Me: Boy stop!!
Adonis: 😁😅😂 You love me!

"Oh my gosh Rai, does everything you wear have to be pink, brown, tan or white?!" Johana threw her hands up as I modeled a pastel pink mini dress with ties on the side and v-neck area. "Yes mam, these are my color preferences." I chucked as I studied Maliks face to see if he approved. Rubbing his chin and scrunching up his lips "Its cute...." and shrugged. I smacked my teeth "buttt????" I said putting my hands on my hips and bucking my eyes out at him. "Don't get a tude with me, I don't need help dressing myself." Malik scoffed and shook his head. I turned my back to them, faced the mirror and took a deep breath. "You know what, I really don't either!! This shopping spree is nothing but an unnecessary headache. I have what I need and if I need anything else I'm positive they have clothing stores in Florida." I change in less than 2 mins, and was at the register with my purchases. Even if I didn't take these things to Florida, I could always wear them another time. I had picked up 2 outfits that matched for me and Dutchess, now all I had to do was get the matching shoes and we'd be set for our weekend when I returned. She loved it when we dressed alike and would take 5 hundred "twinzy" selfies on my phone of us. Johana and Malik were out before I could even finish my purchase, I had to speed walk to catch up to them. It's not like I didn't know they were going to the smoothie bar, but if I was in a group I preferred to stay together.

"You need a few more minutes Rai?" I popped my head up and bugged my eyes out at Chad. "I order the same thing every time." I chuckled and stuck my tongue out at him. Turning to the waiter I rambled off my order as easy I gave my name. "I'll have a strawberry daiquiri to drink and a sprite light ice. For my appetizer I'll take the spinach dip and nachos, then I'll have the seafood alfredo and finally for dessert I'll take a slice of the sicilian cheesecake." Somewhere along the way I had lost eye contact with the waiter and was responding to a text message from Adonis. "Ok, and I will drop your drink orders off at the bar before putting in your food order." He stated as he started collecting the menu's and passing out napkins and straws. "Oh and could you bring over a cup of hot water with lemon? Thank you." Jeannette added. "Earth to Rai." I looked up from my phone for what seemed like the 50th time that night with apologetic eyes. "Dont you dare allow him to suck you in like that. You've been MIA since you got here! This is a night of celebration." Taking a deep breath I looked I to her pleading facial expression and felt so guilty. I stopped texting midsentence, I didn't even send the one I had been working on and dropped the phone in my tiny clutch. "You right, I'm sorry guys. You know how it is when we've been off for awhile." I shook my head looking in each of their faces trying to read the reactions. "Oh, we know all too well how he expects you to drop any and everything you were focused on be the center of your world." Regina placed her hands on the table, locked her finger together, cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips as she commented. "Mmm"  was all Chad had to say. Malik just lifted his eyebrows nodded slightly. "Come on now..." I started slow, breathlessly. "That's not how it goes, your over exaggerating." I swallowed and forced a smile trying to hold back the emotions that were swelling up inside me. "I mean.. she's not exactly wrong Rai." Johana spoke up and offered a crooked smile and hunched her shoulders. Looking from face to face I felt my emotions breaking loose. Jeannette and Chad who were sitting on either side of me reached out to touch me hand and shoulder. " I never knew that's what you all thought of me, that I was some spineless toy for him." I pulled away from the offered comforting gestures and pushed my chair back to stand. "You'll have to excuse me." I said walking around the table as quickly as I could
I didn't want them to see I had started crying. I heard them saying things like "Don't be like that" and "Where you goin?" and Regina blunt ass "What! It's the truth, was I supposed to lie?" I love her so much, but I just wanna cut that throat of hers out sometimes smh. Inside my car I rolled my window down and took a long drag from my cigarette. I know it's a nasty habit. I actually managed to quit, but every now and again when something or someone really pushed my buttons I crave for one. I usually have them in the glove compartment and in the bathroom cabinet in my house. The thing that got me the most is the fact that they weren't lying, but it's just hard to accept your weaknesses. Especially when the realization comes in the form of your four closest friends and sister. I was grateful in that moment that I would be away from him for the next week. Surrounded by my support system, peace, celebration, and relaxation. I would consider if I was truly ready to allow him back in so easily and when I got home I could change my locks and block him. Lol, well I could try. When my emotions were finally under control I put out my cigarette and rejoined my table. By the time I got back our drinks and appetizers were on the table. The roar of laughter calmed when they noticed me taking my seat. "I'm sorry I hurt your lil biddy feewings." Regina taunted as she took a long drink from her straw. Everyone was looking from me to her, I guess they were trying to decide how to react. "I can't fucking stand you" I burst out laughing. Everyone joined in on the laugh and the mood lifted. I loved being around them, they were my family and I wouldn't change any of them for the world. We may not always see eye to eye, but in the end we would go to war for each other no questions asked. The rest of the dinner was full of laughter, joking and talk of our Florida getaway.

After dinner we all back to our homes and changed into our comfortable clothes for the plane ride. We rented out the large community center in the back of my complex for a get together so we could celebrate with everyone else before we left. My mom knew the owner of my complex and talked them into allowing us to extend the hours till 12am. Our flight was at 2, which would give us enough time to lock up and be to the airport, which was 15 mins from my house, in time for the flight.

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Pardon the lack of pictures
For my second chapter. It's really early and can edit tomorrow.
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