Gone Girl

Chapter 20

If I stay one more minute in this house I'll go insane.

Dominic also came to check on me and he asked me a thousand questions; why did I faint, what happened, am I dying, etc.

Derek is even worse than Nicole, with all that 'I wanna help you' attitude. I don't want help.

"Has someone... touched- you inappropriately?" Derek asks and my eyes widen in terror. Why is he asking me this question? How did he understand?

What should I lie?

I stay silent for a few too many seconds, if I don't say anything he will take it as a yes.

I understand my ideas are always bad, but they work. I'm going to tell him something that he won't appreciate and I doubt he would even try to talk to me anymore, let alone help me.

How do I shift the attention from his question to something else? I am not a good liar. Fuck.

Wait.

"No. I- I have a good sex life," I say as my lips are slightly trembling, "a week ago I had sex with a stranger I met at a bar."

Promiscuous? Maybe, but at least I won't have to look into his eyes and lie.

This would turn his attention to my encounter.

He looks at me like I'm crazy, then he bursts out laughing.

"Veronica, I don't care about your sex life. I'm asking if someone ever made you uncomfortable. Did that bar guy make you uncomfortable?" he asks and looks down.

Ugh...

"No. We had a great time," I mutter trying to push it further. Am I telling him this cause I want to get rid of him... or just to make him jealous?

He just looks at me with a look I cannot decipher so I stare back.

"You weren't joking?" he asks seriously, this is the moment I notice... something different.

"Y-yes, wait, actually- no." Fuck, he makes me stutter so much.

Why is his presence making me regret what I've done? Am I going insane?

I don't care what other people think, nor if I'm doing the wrong thing.

Because it's the only thing that gives me back the freedom I lost that morning.

Will I ever be able to have a healthy relationship? A family? Intimacy without having to drink so much alcohol that I pass out and remember nothing the next day?

"Are you still here?" Derek asks waving his hand in front of my face. I zone out so many times.

"What were you saying?" I ask.

"Nothing, leave it," he mutters, looking down at his hands.

I'm so curious... does he hook up with anyone? Has he ever been in a serious relationship?

"Do you have sex?" I ask bluntly and I start laughing at my immature question. Who even asks this kind of stuff?!

He laughs at my question, unsure if he heard me correctly since it makes no sense to him.