Light of Mine (RusAme)

Chapter 32

Ame's P.O.V (very slight language) 

'He will break your heart...'

'You shouldn't have to put up with that...'

'I know what he's like inside, it isn't pretty...'

'We support you, feel free to talk to us anytime...'

'Trust us.'

The thought of that conversation loomed over my head with a solemn weight.

Clearly I was upset, or at least I thought I was. I couldn't quite place my finger on what I was feeling, only that my mood had dimmed from this morning.

I had hoped that they would have advice for me on what to do and how to pursue it, but the only thing that I was met with from them were caution signs that told me to go back. They told me of the dangers this man could bring; heartache, pain, and overall rejection.

Rejection...that was something I hadn't considered.

I wanted the highs, the love, and the affection of being in a relationship with him. I craved for it, since there wasn't much nowadays.

However, I failed to realize what came with those highs, love, and affection; lows, fights, and distance.

I also failed to see his faults. I knew that he turned to booze when he couldn't solve his problems, it made his mind fog up and obscured his values. He can also be judgmental in a way that disrupts his relationships with friends, family, and loved ones.

Those were the two most problematic, but I also noticed that his anger could grow out of control rather rapidly.

I pressed the down arrow on the elevator panel. I was standing alone, since the other two decided to stay in that room to spend their time together. I didn't mind it this time, because I knew that I needed a bit of time to process what I had gathered.

The doors swept open, I entered, and pressed the button with my floor number on it. My vision was engulfed by steel, once the doors had closed.

If I didn't like all of him, did that mean that I never liked him at all? No...that wouldn't make much sense. I knew I liked the parts of him that I focused on, like his ability to calm me down, I knew I liked that part of him.

But, then again, there were those parts I wasn't sure of; that I felt... disconnected from. The parts that I just couldn't find myself admiring, because I didn't admire them. I disliked them.

I heard the ding, as the doors reopened. I stepped out of the mechanical space, and sauntered towards my room.

My mood hadn't just dimmed by this point, it was almost gone. Sort of like a candle light that had just got blown out.

I approached the room with my key in hand, wrapped my fingers around the familiar handle, inserted the key, and opened the door. The same sights met my eyes; a couch, a coffee table, and a small kitchen.

That included the person I was thinking about.

He was sunk into the couch without a care in the world. His own phone was held up in front of his face at a slight angle, and his eyes were encapsulated by whatever was playing on there.

"Hey, Russia." I greeted. Russia's eyes flicked up from where he was previously looking, as they transferred over to me.

"Hi, vhere have you been?" He asked casually, while he turned off his phone and placed it on the table.