FIFTY NINE

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"And now, I feel bad" I mumbled, resting on Vince's shoulder

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"And now, I feel bad" I mumbled, resting on Vince's shoulder. He was no Tino or Gianni but it was comforting.

"You shouldn't. At least I don't think you should. You guys just need time to think -gather your thought without letting your guilt or fears affect your decision. You're smart enough to make a decision for yourself" he shrugged and I sighed, watching Lucia make her way around the kitchen, preparing our dinner.

It had been over a week days since my outburst. I was ashamed but I couldn't lie, I felt relief. You know that feeling you get when you keep too many things to yourself? Yes. That feeling of freedom from a heavy burden weighing you down.

I missed being spoiled. I missed sleeping in our big bed. I missed getting kisses on both sides of my cheek. I missed sleeping in Gianni's arms and waking up in Tino's. I missed the mind-blowing sex.

I had a feeling that I was only tormenting myself. I should've let them explain themselves. After all, communication was key.

Again, it didn't mean that I regretted speaking my mind. It just meant that I could have done better.

I had taken my braids out but mistakenly cut my hair with the scissors. It wasn't a lot of hair but still hair that I had been growing for almost twenty years nonetheless.

"Where's Gianni?" I blurted out, wiggling my toes and biting the inside of my cheek. Lucia turned to me.

"H-he and Master Antonio are up in Master Tino's room, Ma'am" her voice was small and I exhaled.

"Did they eat today?" She shook her head

"They said they would call for me if they needed me, ma'am. Would you like me to call them for you? Or is there anything you want me to do for you, Madam" she had her eyes looking at everywhere but me.

"Could you make their dinner, please? I'll take it up to the room for them" I gave her a small smile and she returned it, nodding before she began to make their dinner.

My heart was racing and I wondered if I was ready to do this.

I wanted to run and hide. I was too nervous. The thought of even waking up the familiar stairs left a dull ache in my stomach.

I distracted myself with my fingers, twisting and fiddling with them. I should probably change my mind.

I mean...they probably hadn't eaten all day! I didn't need to talk to them. I just wanted to see them. I had to see them to make sure they were alright.

What if they had been fighting again?

It didn't take long for Lucia to finish making some porridge. I held a tray as I walked up the stairs.

"Calm down, Wuraola" I whispered to myself and exhaled, trying to make my footsteps as light as I could as I walked down the hallway. I stopped in front of our room and whispered the lord's prayer under my breath before I pushed the door open with my hip.

The door opened and I exhaled, staring at the empty room. My nightdress was on the bed -the same one I had pulled off the day before Tino asked me to go out when I was moving around because Gianni wasn't around.

The bed was unmade and on the couch was a familiar shirt. My breath hitched and I placed the tray on the table rushing to Gianni's shirt I had been holding and sniffing when he traveled.

A novel was on the couch and I could remember Tino watching me walk around in the room, head hidden behind the book but his eyes followed around behind me.

"Baby?" I jumped at the sound of Gianni's voice. Spinning around, I looked up at him. Like some kind of faulty machinery, my heart beat, skipping and aching.

I drank him up like my favorite juice and he walked towards me slowly. His hand moved up to my face and my eyes fluttered shut, waiting to feel the electrifying contact.

His hair had grown so long. Full and thick. Dark bags were under his eyes and he looked so pale.

"It's you" he whispered and I exhaled, his cold hand touched my skin. My hand moved up to cover his. I'd missed this so much.

"Bambino. I know you're angry at us and we deserve it. Si. Ci dispiace. Tino and I. I-Ci manchi così tanto, piccola. So much" he whispered and my eyes fluttered open. My heart was running miles.

"I-i understand if you're still angry. Tino has taken care of everything and no one's gonna hurt you again. No one" his voice was a light whisper.

His thumb ran back and forth, sending electric currents underneath my skin and into my bones.

"I missed you" I mumbled, tears welling in my eyes. I felt like a pathetic child. I brought myself into his arms and in true Gianni fashion, he held me in his arms.

I gripped his shirt, his scent was overwhelming and like I was a drug addict, I buried my nose against his chest. He chuckled and combed his fingers through my hair.

"We missed you too, baby. We were so fucking messed up without you" he kissed my head. I hid my head underneath his arm and he chuckled.

"I missed you doing that. Did you have dinner? Do you want something? Want me to get Tino?" He rambled and I shook my head. I smiled against his chest, enjoying the feeling of being babied again.

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