©Soulmates | Dramione

32. Big Fight

The stiffness of his neck was his first clue that he hadn't slept in a bed.

Draco groaned slightly when he tried to turn his head. Whatever his head was resting on was too hard to be a pillow. And as his eyes slowly blinked open, he focused on a different ceiling to what he was used to. Draco awkwardly shifted to find himself outstretched on one of the couches, propped up by the armrest. It was still rather dark, but there were no windows in this space, and a brief check of the clock told him it was seven in the morning.

He fell asleep at the couch in his personal study.

Draco had no idea how long did he fall asleep in such a very uncomfortable position, but he would safely assume it didn't even last for 3 hours. All of the morning noises had fizzled out and the room was definitely darker. His eyes fell to the pristine tiles, frowning as he studied the red smears scattering around him. The crimson fingerprints held his attention for a moment, reminding him of what happened last night. He tried to burn the Mark on his arm using the magic.

He would probably never know why, but there was something stopping him from hurting himself more last night. The face of his mother and Hermione crying switching and kept crashing into his already unstable mind. His eyes fell back to the Mark, staring at it soullessly.

He shuttered his eyes, wondering why the hell suddenly he felt guilty. He should have been roaring in rage and causing more pain to his arm in return of what the nightmare had done, but all he could do was dropping his wand and cried again at the pain. He wanted to despise himself for being weak, to grab his wand back and burn his arm.

But he didn't.

He just can't.

"Aguamenti"

He dipped his arm that was filled with crimson smears of dried blood, cleaning them away. He could vividly remember what happened last night. The pain and damage he did to himself just to get away of the fucking sickening Dark Mark. Draco flopped onto the couch, waving his wand as he cleared the mess on the floor. His arm were tightly bandaged, securing from any substance to exit his body.

The door creaked open, revealing Hermione in her pyjama.

"Draco, breakfast's ready" she said in a low tone.

"I don't feel like eating, Hermione"

Hermione stopped at the door, grasping on the silver doorknob too tightly. She could see the changes in Draco's physical state. His eyes were bloodshot and dark circles were just getting darker around his eyes. He looked skinnier than the 16 years old boy who was given the task to murder an innocent old man. He looked physically sick and she saw every single details. He was trying to kill himself slowly.

"You've been starving for 2 weeks, Draco. You're getting skinnier. You're going to get sick!"

"Who cares if I got sick? Who cares, Hermione? Everyone wanted me dead that since whatever the fuck happened at the Astronomy Tower. Do you think I want this?"

Draco pulled up his sleeve, revealing the Dark Mark. It was still red, as if he just ripped his flesh apart mercilessly. Hermione gasped, trying to remove the sight of Draco's badly injured arm. She turned to look at him in his eyes, only to meet by a pair of a devastated look coming from that silver grey eyes. Draco flopped to the couch.

"Just leave me alone, Hermione"

"Draco, we can talk about this. Everything has its solution"

"This matter of mine has no fucking solution. And even if there is, it would be death, just like how everyone wanted"

"Stop saying everyone wanted you dead! I don't want that! Your mother won't want to see her son dead! Can't you at least think there are still people who valued you?!"

Hermione bursted into an outburst rage thinking of how stupid, ego and selfish Draco was behaving. He was not thinking straight. He wasn't trying to find any solution but instead, chose to torture himself and ended up with dying in vain. She won't let him torture himself again after what he had sacrificed. How he had refrain himself from being a Death Eater.

Draco snapped his eyes at her in rage.

"You don't understand. I don't want this, I was forced. The Mark is a curse. The only way to get rid of it is me. Being dead. And boom! The whole wizarding community can rest in peace knowing that the last Malfoy heir is dead"

Draco threw away everything that was in front of him. Hermione was horrified and worried at the same time. A frustrated scream of Draco echoed the whole room. He collapsed to the floor, crying for who knows how many times has it been this week. Hermione stepped into the room carefully, trying to avoid stepping on the scattering glasses on the floor. She squatted next to Draco.

"Draco, I'm sorry. It's my fault I don't try to understand you. Please, we can find the solution to this. Not death, there must be something else we can do"

"Don't act like you know everything"

"Then, tell me. Let me help you" she said softly.

"No one can help me" his eyes shot a glare, warning Hermione to leave.

But she didn't. She insisted to leave. She has to know what was inside his nightmare that he had to scream and wake her up in panic every night. She had to know what was the nightmare because everytime he screamed, her scar was burning. She wanted to help him to make his life a better life. She held Draco's arm before he shoved her away.

"Sod off"

"Draco, I just want to help"

"I don't need your help, you fucking filthy little Mudblood!"

Draco shoved Hermione harder, causing her to fall on the floor. This time, it wasn't because of the sudden force he gave her, but, it was because of what he said. Hermione's eyes started to get teary. She stood up and ran out from the room before Draco could say another word of... maybe insult? Maybe apology? She didn't want to know.

Draco closed his eyes as the sound of Hermione slamming the door of her room echoed the whole manor. He cursed himself for acting under the influence of his anger. He fucking messed up. She will definitely hate him for the rest of her life after this. He threw away his jumper, leaving him in his thin white shirt. He casted Silencing Charm around the room, before falling to scream harder and louder to destroy all of his memories.

Hermione collapsed to the floor behind her door. Tears were trickling furiously down her cheeks. She took her wand and casted a Silencing Charm around the room. She was deeply hurt by his words. She knew he didn't mean it, but she can't accept that. It was too much. It's been 5 months since they got married. And even on her first few weeks of working with him, he never act like that.

He called her Mudblood.

Mudblood.

A very foul name to someone who is a Muggle-born. Someone who has no magical parents. Someone like Hermione. She didn't care if it was from some other pure-blood supremacists, but the fact that it came from her husband just deeply hurt her. It affected her more thinking that the fear of the word Mudblood was because of what happened years ago in Malfoy Manor.

The scar.

Mudblood.

The permanent scar Hermione will never get rid of. Not that she was willing to keep the scar, but it was because the knife used to torture her that night was cursed. Bellatrix was supposed to kill her as she knew Hermione is a Muggle-born. Hermione screamed in frustration, letting out all of her sadness, anger and pain.

*******
What a messy chapter!

I'm going to have online classes again soon while the rest of my siblings are going to school! I'm so happy that I can go to classes without people disturbing hehe

PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME!