Inside Her Head S1

Musings: Dating Apps

Jan. 15, 2021

Hi welcome back again to another "Musings" session with me. You are entitled of your own opinions as I am entitled of mine. Whatever I say here does not mean it is fact. Therefore you may or may not agree with it. Everything is only according to my own opinion.

Now let's get started!

I've never tried a dating app. Though these days it is really tempting to make my own profile and meet new people virtually. It must be like having a textmate. Just that in dating apps you have an idea of what this person looks like, but through texts you can still be completely strangers.

I cannot recall if I already wrote about my 2017 horror textmate story to you. But just incase I did, this is just another recap for you. I hope you don't find me too crazy after I told you about it.

So this happened during our first review, just right before our pre-boards exam. I went home to Bohol for the longest time, cause I never really went home since the beginning of our review in Cebu. I was feeling unwell. And on the days that I've spent in Bohol, most of the time spent were for hospital visits.

There was this one night when there was a blackout in Panglao. I received a text from an unknown number. I usually don't bother to reply on these messages. But I had no I idea what got into me, cause I replied to this one stupid message.

The person was persistent to know my name. I never gave him my full name, just the last three letters of my first name. I called him kuya Xenon. Because he was a stranger and he was older than me by 5 years. He said he got my number because someone used his phone to call me while inside the internet shop. Up until now, I have no idea who it was, but I am guessing it was probably my older brother.

The guy was an architecture graduate from UB. He was 25 years old at the time while I was only 20. He was still rendering his 2 years OJT. Funny, he was also from Panglao. And he told me his birthday was on December too.

We exchanged text casually. I was asking him things I don't usually ask people I know. Like, "what are the five bad things I should know about you?". And he would answer them honestly. I was just having a fun time trying to know this complete stranger. And I want us to remain just that, strangers.

Then he started to become too cheesy. Of course I was not prepared for cheesy stuffs. Though it was a bit flattering, to be honest. Still it made me cringe and laugh at the same time.

It was his big mistake to know my full name. Suddenly we were no longer complete strangers. And I had the opportunity to look at his Facebook profile. What I saw startled me. When he said he was into green jokes, I thought maybe it was just like you and kuya Bordios' green jokes. But what I saw in his profile were disgustingly green jokes. And I was not prepared for that, therefore it scared me.

I told him nicely to stop texting me. This was after the last day of our pre-boards exam. Then he chatted hi to my messenger and called my number! And I was freaking the hell out. Hahaha. So para mahuman na, longstory short, ako siya gi away. 🤣 Ako pa gi ingnan ipa police tika if di ka mu undang ug text. Kabuang jd nako sa? Praning jd ko ato nga time. Like sige kog kakulbaan kay basin makit.an ko niyas tagbilaran. Unya para mahuman ang tanan, gi bali na lang ni Dara akoang simcard unya ako sad gi block si kuya Xenon sa FB.

I feel very awful of the things that I've said to him. Kabalo na ka'ng mu gawas ni ako inner demon pag na trigger. Hahaha. Pero nag sorry mn sad ko niya after that. I even said sorry to my last text before gi bali ni Dara ako sim card. Hahaha.

Siguro adto nga time he was desperate to be in a relationship. And ako gi stalk iya profile just now. Ewww wa pa gihapon nag bag.o ang amaw. Manyakers gihapon ang dating sa iya mga green jokes. And he is still single at most probably 30. Hahaha.

Way off topic na ta noh? Side tracking ra ni.

The main point is I saw you posting on your my day your profile for a dating app. Last night before I went to bed, it was the last thing I saw on messenger. My initial reaction was to laugh. I find it so funny.

There you go again. Looking for some unknown stranger. Searching for that thing you called a 'spark'. Wading into the unknown surface.

But why can't it just be me? Of course, it can't be me. Yet, I'm still saving that 1% for you, might you wish to have it.

Flowers might look beautiful when they bloom. But are you willing to still be there as they wilt? Some may have thorns. Others might be poisonous. Some might be hard to obtain as they entwined with weeds. Others may be easily in season.

Choose the right one for yourself.

The one who will not prick you. The one whom you can nurture. The one who will let you grow further.

As for me, I don't think I will do dating apps anytime soon. You must've read on my previous entry that I really prefer the old classic way of dating. Though at this time, I am not certain if it is still possible. However, I am still hopeful.

Best of luck my friend.

Not yours,
-Kriz@24