Inside Her Head S1

07-19-2020 For Mr. F.

Dear future husband,

I would just wanted to inform you that I have thrown the box where I've kept your letters since 2018 along with the logo that I've made on 2013. With it comes the new signs I've made on 2018. I just figured out that it is quite bad for me to be waiting on some imaginary person.

I've come to terms that there is a big possibility that I won't ever see you in this lifetime. And if I ever will, then you are reading this by then. I hope you understand that it is a very difficult year for most of us. And my idealistic future is now a blur.

I must say this is a very stressful year to me. Especially that all the frustrations, the pressure from my family is falling unto my shoulders. And I am having a hard time taking it all in. I am having a hard time accepting things. Most of the time I just feel so down and cry a lot. And I wish I had someone to talk to. Be my own shock absorber, because you know by now that I am mostly everyone's shock absorber. And for me who absorbs all my energy from my environment, it is really bringing me down.

You can't imagine how writing has become my own kind of therapy nowadays. I have been busying my thoughts with this book that I am trying to write. So I am searching all sorts of random history for its setting. Drawn a bunch of maps, floor plans and whatnots just to be able to visualise it. Also I am making a really complicated character list. Since it's genre historical fiction, I have to include a lot of characters. I really meant it when I wrote A LOT.

Now I know you are probably not interested in this. But just in case I will actually finish the work in progress that I am making, this is a gentle reminder for my future self. Hi there future me! Were you able to actually finish the book? Did you made it a series? How did you deal with the plot and setting for Spellbound? Did you actually wrote Spellbound or did you just went on with the Brimwood series?

Errr.. now back to you future husband. Talk to me a lot will ya? I need a companion right now really. At the very least someone I can comfortably talk to, who won't be judging me but instead give me advices on how to improve as a person. I quite know now how difficult it is to deal with me. I really have the baddest mood swings when I'm on PMS. And it will take tons of patience on the recipient of my wrath.

Anyway, if you do exist in my world. I love you and please bear with me.  😉

-Wife @23