Dear Future-self,
It's been a while since my last entry. It's also been a while since the last time I had re-read this diary.
I'm writing you today because I feel anxious for the next year. Last year was fine because I knew exactly where I would be, but then next year is still a blur to me. You know the fact that I'll be done with my contract next year.
And I'm turning 25 next year. Yet, I've established nothing up to now. No boyfriend. No suitors. No clear career path. No plans ahead at all. And by now at 23 I should probably know what I want for my career, yet I'm still undecided of what to do next.
Shall I continue this job?
or
Should I venture unto other fields?
If I continue for at least a year, I might be able to save up enough money for my goals. But then... I'd miss out a lot on Zelena's childhood. I'd miss out on a lot of family stuffs. People around me would leave soon and it won't always be like this, and what I'm often afraid of is CHANGE. Because I don't easily adapt to change. You know me well since I am YOU. And we are both rigid and inflexible. And we get easily attached to people so much that it breaks our heart to see them leave.
If I change my career path, I don't quite know where to go next. Hospitals don't pay as much as retail drugstores. Plus, I'm bound with a contract that prohibits me to apply to community pharmacies.
Which is why whatever happens next, I'll just trust HIM. He lead me through my mess last year. I trust that He will lead me to the path that is best for me next year.
I'm so confused right now. But I know you'll know the answer to this query in the future.
2021. A year to look forward. A year full of hope.
PS: Sorry that I don't have enough time to write myself letters. I've been busy with a lot of stuff these days, like continue on writing my book (Rose with Thorns). And due to that, I had to study disorders and read the dsm-5 book. I am also busy with my actual job and the demands it takes on my time. But most of the time I'm just lazing out and being in bed all day watching YouTube channels.
I feel so much better now that I was able to write my thoughts. I hope I'll be able to work it out soon.
Love you! Don't be so hard on yourself. Take care of you health. You are becoming quite obese now.
Re-read this soon!
Love,
-23 yr old self
YOU ARE READING
Inside Her Head S1
Non-FictionThe best way to keep a diary, is by making it public. Because secrets are best hidden on the most unexpected places... Or rather, pages. 😉 "You'll never hear my thoughts. You can only read them." -Krizia PS: Check out S2 if you enjoyed reading. 😊
