Inside Her Head S1

Entry #165 (12-25-22)

Dear future me,

I'm at Manil's house right now celebrating Christmas with her family. I will miss this chill chill lang Christmas moments when the time comes I'd have to move out from Naga. I will also miss her mom. Tita Tess is such a nice person. And I'm thankful she is so welcoming. She welcomed a stranger like me into their home and I've been spending my holidays here for three years already. It's a different kind of mixture of fun and boring.

A different kind of boring because we don't do any sort of ruckus here unlike the usual Christmas we have at home. But it's still fun in a sense that I can completely chill and relax here. And we'd watch random movies and eat Tita's nice meals.

I kinda miss home today. When I called mom and she told me I should come home so I can take care of her and dad. I feel like my heart got torn. I was teary eyed there but I shouldn't cry. I'm such a crybaby you know.

I torn wether I should go home or not. I feel like it won't be good for me financially if I go back. Plus I'd be exposed to my traumas again.

I don't know why I am even overthinking. I think I should just let time flow freely. I think things will fall into place once I just go with the flow. Just like before. God has something in stored for me. And I will have it when the right time comes.

I'm just thankful for the memories that I made this year. Everything was a mix of disasters, laughter, anger, love and sadness. Like how I started the year with the wrong foot. But then I needed that so I can heal. And after having a hard time finding my way back to my family, this year our ties became stronger. We've been more open and I hope it continues that way. I hope our healing continues.

Thank you Lord for the blessings. ♥️🥰

-26th version of me