Today is Trevor's death anniversary. But he didn't visit me in my dreams.
In fact, I couldn't remember what my dream was today.
Hindi ako nakapag sulat kahapon kasi andito si Manil naki tulog sa dorm. Sobrang busog ko na naman sa dinner. Grabe na naman pagkain namin. Kagabi nag luto ako nang sinabawang na tahong. Tapos ngayon for the first time in forever, naka tikim ako nang legit na Ilocano pinakbet.
Bet na bet ko. Ang sarap niya promise. Luto nang nag iisa naming chief Richard. Hahaha.
Kanina medj na badtrip kami dun sa customer na nagpa change item. Siya na nga yung mali ang binili, siya pa galit. Hamag yan. Grabe pag aatitude niya sa store. 🙄
Anyway, aside from that okay naman yung araw ko. Nakapag kinalas pa ako for lunch. hahaha. Hayst diet is sira.
I'm still undecided if sasabihin ko kay Joash na pupunta ako sa Manila next week. Baka naman kasi di namin kaya mag kita. hahaha. He could have plans for Friday night. Plus, work sad siya ana nga adlaw. So... parang it's too embarrassing to try to meet up with him again.
The last time I tried, he ditched me a few days before our supposed meet up. So I don't think I could do it. And if ever man na mag kita kami, I don't think I should give him my letter.
Parang ang bilis lang din kasi if gagawin ko yun. Knowing also na hindi pa naman ganun yung feelings ko for him. At mas may nararamdaman pa din ako kay Sonny compared to him. Hindi lang talaga kami pwede ni Sonny, kaya...
The point is, I don't to turn Joash into just an option. Who knows, baka matuloy ako sa Manila next year. I hope mag spark up ulit friendship namin. And if I would feel something more, and he feels the same. Maybe that would be the time.
Baka nga may gusto din siyang iba dun. Hindi ko na din kilala ang Joash na 25 yrs old version. Sana magkaroon nang opportunity na makilala namin ang isa't-isa. At kung hindi talaga, baka hindi talaga ito nka tadhana.
-Krizia 25 version
YOU ARE READING
Inside Her Head S1
Non-FictionThe best way to keep a diary, is by making it public. Because secrets are best hidden on the most unexpected places... Or rather, pages. 😉 "You'll never hear my thoughts. You can only read them." -Krizia PS: Check out S2 if you enjoyed reading. 😊
