Inside Her Head S1

Entry# 111 (08-11-2020)

Dear future suitor,

Well I've just finished watching a podcast of behind relationship goals and this idea came to my mind. Actually it has been quite a time when I wanted to write this. But the podcast has inspired me to do it now.

So here it goes...

Safety guidelines for your heart:

1. You must know that my major love language are words then service comes next.

Which means I find guys who have lots of ideas and topics to talk about attractive. I like it when I learn from another person. So I always prefer older guys or matured thinking men. I like it when they share their ideas because it keeps me interested. So you better have a bag full of interesting things, because you'll need them when you court me.

Best way to do it would be through letters. Cause I am a "words"person, I love receiving letters and reading them. And since writing is an effort, I perceive this as your service for me. By making an effort to pen your thoughts and giving me a priceless gift.

I don't really know if I would like to receive gifts. But based on my friends who gave me gifts. I appreciate it, but it is not necessary. Major note, I am not fond of jewelries, so don't even bother wasting your money on something I will never wear. I'd rather you'd give me perfume or perfumed lotions. Cause just like how music preserves memory, I also feel the same when it comes to scent. I'll remember a moment through a scent.

2. I am aggressive when saying how I feel but I want you to take it slowly.

Yes. I might tell you how I feel first, but that doesn't necessarily mean you can be my boyfriend. It is just me merely stating facts and facing fears.

I was never courted, so I don't really know how I would feel. But you better take it slow. Since my usual reaction to any person who showed attraction towards me is being defensive. I will try to turn you down because I am scared of commitments. It is up to you on how you'll break the barrier and earn my trust.

Also, don't expect me to hold your hands,  hug you and kiss you easily. I can't. I am not used to it. So please, please lang i-timing sad. Especially nang kiss. Ayaw jd buhata ug ga date2 pa lang ta. Basin malaparo tika. 🤣

Don't even expect me to have sex with you. I will only do so once I'm married. Or probably when I can foresee that I am not getting married and I need a sperm donor. Do you understand that?

3. I like having some time alone.

Since I have been single my whole life. I would never know how it is to share my time with another person. And when I say I like being in control of my time, I am not kidding. I really am very OC when it comes to work schedule and being diligent.

Especially on my "bad days", I'd prefer to be alone. Then I indulge into a series of crying with no reason at all. Just blame it on the hormones. And wait till you see my mood swings. Let's see how you'll handle that. 😂

I also don't like being told "nikaon nka?", "ayaw pagutom" or anything as cheesy as that. That is a major turn off for me. It gives me the creeps. And I don't want to report everything that I am doing to you. For me ok na nang kabalo ko'ng asa ka and who you are with and when you are coming home. Pero to tell me all the details or making me report to you everything???? Ewwwwww. hahaha. That's an immature relationship.

4. Converse with me when I need you.

Even if I like having my alone times, there are much more chances that I want someone to talk to. Since I have a lot of ideas, all I need is a person who will listen and won't judge. A person who would hear my thoughts and find them useful. And on very rare moments, I could be vulnerable and I will open up my problems. You'll have to learn how to comfort me because I am used to being the one who gives comfort.

Are you willing to be my shock absorber from time to time? Hmmm. 🤔

5. Be sure you have integrity, because I don't trust easily.

If you get to know me deeper (if I will even allow you), you will know the reason why I have major trust issues. Why I am very uncomfortable around men. All my history will be yours, only if I let you into my heart. I will only do so if you have earned my respect and my trust.

I am pretty sure there is still a lot to know. But these are my simple guidelines for my very complicated personality. I hope it will help you on your way to courtship. And may the best man win. 🤣

Almost yours,
-Krizia @23