Inside Her Head S1

04/16/2020 For Mr. F.

Dear future-husband,

Where are you? I have been waiting for almost seven years now. How come you are still not here? How many years more shall I have to wait?

I'm sorry, I'm bombarding you with silly questions again. I hope that you are doing fine. Please stay safe. I need to meet you, so you better survive this pandemic.

I don't think I'll be able to move unto my next life without ever meeting you. I can't die waiting in vain for the man I love. Or have I died that way during my first life? Did I die without ever meeting you? Is this why I am still waiting in this life?

If this is already my second life, I cannot waste my chances of meeting you. But it seems so vague. I don't even like anyone as of the moment.

I don't believe in love at first sight. But will I change that perception when I finally meet you?

There is no way I am writing my letters without ever asking you questions. So please bear with me. I just really long for your presence.

I long for the days when I'm no longer alone. For the time when I could cuddle with you. I long the for moments that I would spend with you. And for the time that I'll be able to love you in reality, not the mirage of you.

Did I pass up so many chances? Did I not get the right signs? Did I met you before this, yet didn't bother to do anything?

How long shall it take for me to attract you? How long shall it take for you to realise that you love me? How long shall it take for us to meet each other half-way?

I'm so tired of waiting.

Seven years! For me to wait this long. It must really mean something.

I'm afraid of not being with you long enough. I don't think I'll live that long. But I hope to at least spend 25 years with you. Just like my parents.

Hopefully we won't ever fall out of love. Please bear with my never ending mood swings. Bear with my "wanting to be left alone moments".

But most of all. I hope l am not a forced decision for you. As I would hope that you aren't a forced decision for me. Let's marry out of love, not because we need to. Let's love each other because we feel compatible and comfortable. Not because we feel insecure of being single and lonely at thirty. Please love me for real, and not for what you can gain out of me. I would promise to love you no matter who you are.

For more years to come! Advance happy anniversary my love. 😘

Your future wife,
-Krizia @23