Inside Her Head S1

Entry #82 (04/07/19)

04-07-19

Dear Future-self,

We had a meeting yesterday at ICM regarding our concerns as pharmacists in the company. And well, I was just pissed off as to how ate Hazel thinks that I back stabbed her because I admitted to maam Deborah that one of the reasons why I am resigning was because of our shifting. Well for starters, I already asked her if we could change our shifts last month when I discovered that she was renting a room in Tagbilaran, but she refused because she said she still goes home to Loboc. And now she is telling me why didn't I asked her about our shifting? That was just a big bullshit! Before I even complained to maam deb, I already told her about it, and now she's acting like I threw her off guard. 🙄

I don't want them to think that the reason why I am resigning is because of a simple schedule that could've been settled through a proper conversation. Because that is just a minor detail to the bulking reasons why. And I am going to write them down today.

1. No Authority. We have to bow down to people who aren't even professionals. Like section heads and supervisors that aren't even a graduate of pharmacy. I don't think they deserve the title and authority just because they stayed with the company for a long time.

2. No career progress. I don't see myself progressing in the said company. No matter how many years I'd stay there, I don't think my position would get any better. To sum it up, there is no possibility for promotion.

3. I didn't learn much. As a person who has a quench for knowledge, I just don't think staying there would do me good. I didn't learn much from my OJT there, and I didn't learn much either as a pharmacist. Though I am still grateful for the experience, I just don't think it is a good training ground for me.

4. Working environment. Though I know that we have to adjust to people when we are working, there are still moments when I can no longer take it. I like half of the staff there and hate the other half. I am not even bothered if people backstab me, because words that you didn't heard wouldn't hurt. So I don't bother my head of their unspoken thoughts. I just hate it when people will accuse me of something that I know I didn't do or when I know I did the right thing but still gets a complain. I can't even go on to the details of the toxic people in the staff. Sometimes I think I'm becoming toxic too.

5. Schedule. Like I have said, this is just a minor detail. But I just had enough of this stupid schedule of mine. At first, I was okay with it because I was planning to have a part-time job and a fixed schedule is required. But then when I didn't push through with it, I got sick of being always on the night shift. And when I asked Hazel about a change of shift she refused to do so. So what can I do? I understand that she has to go home to Loboc and it is far. But could she see that I have to go home to J. A. Clarin too? Even though its within the city, I still get in trouble hailing a tricycle. I even have to walk a span of distance at night just so I can get a ride, and to think it is dark and dangerous. And so what if she has a child? Don't I have a family too? I don't get to see them because of that stupid shift even though Panglao is just a short distance away. Not only that, but this kind of shift had also affected my sleeping schedule. See how the implications of a simple shifting could do to one's self?

This is it. My five reasons why. And I'm stopping here because its already 2 am and I still have work tomorrow.

Love,
Present-self (22yrs)