Entry #64 (11/01/18) DC

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Dear Future-self,


Today I was not feeling well inside my head. It was troubling to get myself out of bed. I had to convince myself that I'd go to work because if I don't go, I won't get paid. I've been like this for a couple of weeks now. I really feel so burnt out.

REALLY.

I find myself bored at work. You know, I don't look forward going to work, and I also can't wait to get home from work.

My life is so boring right now. No lover. No adventures. No nothing. Plus, I had to go with all the drama in my family last week.

First my brother's getting hitched. Second, I had to stop my sister from killing herself when she and my brother had a quarrel. It really scared me. I had to cry the whole morning. I wish things would be a little better onwards.

Hello? 2018 is almost over, yet my love-life is still a doughnut. Zero. Not even a single admirer.

BTW, it's been a year since the last time me and DC met. We chatted through messenger today. I was reacting to the adventures he had at Brazil. He went plunging there! I was so jealous. Of course, I could never ever dare to do that. I might have a heart attack. That was so scary. But still being able to travel around Brazil for a day for free is kinda amazing.

Perks of being a seaman.

Today I realized that I still liked DC. My feelings are just too hard to flush out. Yes, I do know he does not like me back. Yes, I'm afraid to see him again after my confession. Yes, I did tried to avoid him so I deleted all our previous convos. And yes, we might not see each other again, but I still hope we will. Even-though I don't know how to react when I see him again, I still want to. I don't even know why I liked him.

From all the zodiac signs that I'm compatible with, I found myself captive by Leo. It's so hard to run away from him. I keep on coming back, no matter how hard I tried to escape.

Who will win in the end?
Leo, whom you can't let go of?
Aries, whom you are so comfortable with?
Libra, who is playing a game?
Or Aquarius, your past love?

It's so amazing, all of my crushes have zodiac signs that are actually compatible with mine.

Is Mr. F. amongst them?

Love,
-21 self 😘

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