Lucky

103

I felt like shit as I pressed my cheek to the cold bathroom floor. I had finally stopped crying but my chest felt empty.

"Sit up, V." Ki said quietly and brought over the comfortable clothes Kat had brought for me. "I can't." I whispered as she sighed. "I know you're hurting but don't shut down on me. No man is worth you losing your bad bitch card over so sit up so we can get you cleaned up." She said as I frowned.

"I love him." I whispered as she pulled my dress off and helped me into the sweatshirt she was holding. "I know, Vi. I'm so sorry this happened. You really deserve better." She said as I shook my head.

"No, I don't." I whispered as she shook her head and pulled me into a hug. "Don't talk like that." She said as Kat came in. "Hey, how are you feeling?" She asked quietly. "Do you have mouthwash?" I mumbled as she smiled sympathetically. "Yeah." She said then grabbed the mouthwash for me.

"Did you maybe want to try and eat something? Like crackers? It might settle your stomach a little bit." Kat suggested as I stumbled over to the sink so I could spit the mouthwash out.

The thought of eating right now made my stomach churn. "I'm gonna-" I started before stumbling to the toilet to throw up again. Ki grabbed my hair and held it back as I started to cry again. "Shhh....don't cry honey bun." She said and pulled me into her arms.

I hated that I was such a mess right now, but the amount of alcohol coursing through my veins was making it extremely hard to keep my walls up.

"I'm gonna postmates some medicine." Kat said then pulled her phone out. She looked at it for a second before glancing at me. She chewed on her lip then turned around, bringing the phone to her ear.

I watched her for a second before Ki covered my view and held me to her chest. "You're gonna get through this." She said quietly as I nodded.

I knew I was going to get through this, but my heart felt like it had been put through a meat grinder. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Colby and Jordan, half naked in his bed. My heart cracked more and more every time my subconscious would bring it back up.

I just wanted to be knocked out.

Kat hung up the phone then turned to me. "Let's get you to bed." She said as they both helped me stand. I felt so bad that I had to be taken care of like this but I was so grateful that I had friends as good as I did.

As soon as I was in the bed Ki slid in next to me. "Let me know if you guys need anything, okay?" Kat said as I nodded. "Thanks, Kat." I said as she smiled slightly and squeezed my hand. "Try to stay awake long enough for the medicine okay? I don't want you to be super hungover tomorrow." She said as I frowned.

"I deserve it." I said as Ki smacked my arm. "Stop saying things like that. You deserve the world and more." She said as I frowned. "That's not true." I said as Kat set a trash can next to my bed in case I felt sick overnight. "Shut up." Ki said then laid back in the bed.

We stayed up and talked for a little while before Kat brought the medicine and a glass of water. "Thanks." I whispered and took it then handed the glass to Ki so she could take one too. She wasn't nearly as drunk as I was but she drank a lot so it couldn't hurt to take it.

I was starting to feel really tired which was good because I wanted to escape the nightmare that was my life.

"Goodnight, V." Ki said as she took my hand and squeezed it once. "Goodnight, Ki. Sorry for everything." I said and pulled the covers up, feeling the weight on my chest again. "Don't worry about it. I'll see you tomorrow." She said as sleep overcame me.

I walked around the house feeling my heart aching with every step I took.

"Get your stuff." Colby said coldly as he wrapped his arm around Jordan's waist. I felt my heart crack as I turned to grab the box that was in the bedroom.

"I thought you loved me." I whispered as Colby scoffed. "You thought wrong. I just felt bad for you." He said as I wimpered from the pain in my chest. "Go back to where you came from." Jordan said as the setting changed.

I was back in Colorado. Daisy was in the living room as I stood in the kitchen. "I told you, didn't I? You're delusional." She said coldly as I shook my head. I opened my mouth to talk but instead the feeling of bile filled my throat.

I bolted up, then reached for the bucket next to the bed, spilling my guts out. "Shit." I whispered as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"It was just a dream." I said to myself as I rubbed my face with my hands. I was feeling a lot more sober now, which meant the pain in my chest was ten times worse.

I couldn't wrap my head around what had happened. Were we done now? Of course we were. We couldn't get passed something like this. At least my trust issues couldn't.

I noticed the sun was starting to rise so I grabbed my phone and walked out to the little patio that was connected to Kat's room.

As soon as I stood up the intense feeling of wanting to pass out and throw up filled my body causing me to groan.

I was super hungover.

I grabbed the bucket and my blanket then went outside. I sat down in the chair that was out there then looked up at the sky. I looked at the two brightest stars and started thinking about my parents again.

They would know how to calm the intense pain that was filling my chest. They would know how to help me through the biggest heartbreak I have ever felt from a guy.

They would know how to help me get over the love of my life.

I wiped my cheeks as tears poured down them then looked at my phone. I had a couple texts from the friend group asking me if I was okay, then I saw the one that made me break down even more.

Colby: I know you probably hate me right now, but it wasn't what it looked like. Please believe me when I say that I love more than anything. I'll explain later. I'm so sorry, V. I love you.

I brought my hand to my mouth as I sobbed louder than I intended. What did he mean when he said it wasn't what it looked like?

It looked like he was naked in his bed with another girl. There's no mistaking that.

I dropped my phone on the ground and just cried into my hands until I heard the door open.

"Hey....it's okay." Ki cooed as she came over to hold me. "Why did he do it?" I sobbed out as she smoothed my hair down. "I don't know, V. I don't know why he did but you're gonna get through this." She said as I choked on the tears since they were coming out too fast.

"I...I'm sorry." I said as she scratched my back. "Shhh...I'm gonna help you through this because I love you, V. Stop apologizing." Ki said as I pulled away and wiped my face.

"What do I do?" I asked as she sighed and brushed my hair from my face. "Talk to him. Or don't. You can either try to get closure or try to somehow work this out but I can't tell you what to do. It's gotta be up to you." She said as I nodded.

My head was throbbing twice as bad now since the hangover and the crying headaches were molding together.

"Let's go back to bed..you look exhausted." Ki said as she helped me stand. "Hold on, I have to grab my bucket." I said and leaned down to grab it as Ki gagged.

"That's fooking nasty." She said as I giggled a little bit. It felt weird laughing when my heart was so mangled in my chest but I didn't mind. I wanted to laugh even when I was feeling so down.

When we got into the bed I brought the covers to my chin but couldn't go back to sleep. My mind was racing with the options of what I could do about this situation.

Did I want to talk to him and hear him out, or would he only speak lies to me? How would I ever know what the truth was? I didn't even think my trust issues would let me listen to a word he said.

Our relationship was tainted now, no matter how much I didn't want it to be.

I didn't know if it was fixable.