Lucky

114

"Yeah, come in." Colby said and sat up, putting his computer off to the side. I walked over to the couch and sat down, folding my hands in my lap so I could fidget with my rings.

"It's okay, V. You don't have to be nervous." He said quietly as my eyes watered. "No...I know..I just...I just am." I said and looked away from him, trying to keep myself together.

"You can talk to me..I missed you." Colby said as a tear fell from my eye. "I forgive you." I whispered and closed my eyes. "But I can't do this anymore. Not right now." I said feeling the familiar feeling in my chest.

"What?" He breathed out, his voice cracking. "I realized that I'm depending too much on other people for my happiness. I need to find it for myself." I said then looked up and into his eyes.

"I rushed from the heartbreak of losing my best friend and just put that same desire to want to be loved onto you. It wasn't fair." I said as a tear fell onto his cheek.

"I don't mind, Violet. I love you just as much as you love me. We can make this work." Colby said as I shook my head. "I know we can. I just have to love myself before I can let you love me." I said as a steady stream of tears fell from my cheeks.

"I have to listen to my heart." I sobbed out as he sat up and pulled me into his arms. "Shhhh....it's okay." He cooed as I sobbed harder. He just held me for a second before I pulled away and took a shaky breath, shaking out my hands.

"I'm going back to Ohio. I don't expect you to wait for me or keep my stuff at your house...I just need to find myself again." I said and looked down at my lap.

"I'll wait for you. I won't give up on us." He said as I shook my head. "No. I don't want you to wait. If we're meant to be we'll be together again but I don't want to keep you hanging on when I don't even know when I'll be back." I said and wiped my cheeks.

"When are you leaving?" He asked as I let out a breath. "Tomorrow. I already called my job and told them that I won't be in anymore." I said feeling my heart crack again. "Where are you staying? Do you need money? I don't like the idea of you being alone out there." Colby said as I breathed a laugh. I reached up and wiped a tear from his cheek.

"I'm staying with Daisy's mom. She's gonna help me get settled in. I might try to get a job at the nursing home my grandma is in. I don't know how well that would work though." I said and brushed my hair behind my ear.

"Your grandma?" He asked as I nodded. "Yeah. She needs some family around to visit her. She doesn't even know my parents are dead." I said as he frowned.

"Jesus..." He breathed out as I rubbed my palms on my legs. "We can still be friends, right?" He asked as my heart twitched in my chest.

"I don't know...I just don't want to hurt you or myself anymore. Maybe one day we can be friends but right now..I think we just need space." I whispered as he nodded. "I never meant to hurt you." He said as I stood up. "I know. That's why I forgive you for what happened. I'm seeing it as a good thing for now. It made me realize what I needed to do for myself." I said then smiled sadly at him.

"I'm sorry." I said as he shook his head. "Don't be. I know how hard it's been for you." He said then stood up and smiled at me sadly. "If we're meant to be, then we'll be." He said then wiped a tear off my cheek.

I felt the last bit of my heart break out of my chest and fall into his hands as he did that. "Thank you for everything." I said as he nodded. "I'll always love you, V." He said causing another fit of sobs to jerk my body.

Colby took a step forwards, opening his arms so he could hug me again. I took a step back though, shaking my head. "I can't." I said and brought my hand to my chest, trying to release some of the tension.