Lucky

108

When I got back to the hotel I could feel the exhaustion creeping up on me. It was only 9pm so it felt ridiculous to go to sleep right now but it had been a long couple days and I just wanted to be asleep.

I got ready for bed then laid down with my phone. I scrolled through social media for a couple seconds. I couldn't avoid Colby's face even though I was trying to.

I sighed as my phone started to ring.

"Hey." I answered as I pulled my blanket over my legs more. "Hey girl, how are you feeling?" Ki asked as I picked at the loose string that was on the blanket. "I'm okay, I went to see my grandma. What have you been up to?" I asked as she sighed.

"Well I went to Steak 'n Shake and threw a milkshake in my bosses face...then fucked my old coworker..are some dinner..now I'm here." She said as I laughed. "Sounds very eventful." I said with a laugh as she sighed.

"Eh. I'm more excited to go to Colorado. We're gonna get baaaaked." She sang. "Oh yeah, I'm surprised we aren't baked right now." I said sleepily.

"Oh babes, you sound tired, we're you sleeping?" Ki asked as I yawned. "No, I'm about to though. Don't get arrested tomorrow, I kinda wanna hang out with you in Colorado." I said as she laughed. "I won't get arrested. Pregnant maybe but not arrested." She said as I rolled my eyes. "Alright, I'll see you in Colorado with a plan b pill." I said and turned the light off.

"Sounds good, sleep well and call me if you need me." Ki said as I nodded. "I will, Goodnight." I said then hung up.

It didn't take long for me to fall asleep but I had the same horrible dream I had the other night.

I guess I was back to having the bad nightmares.

I sighed then stood up so I could go take a shower in an attempt to calm me down. When I got there I looked in the mirror, flinching at the reflection. The bags under my eyes were so purple that it looked like I got punched in the face.

I sighed then took the longest shower ever. I felt really relaxed for the first time since the party so I didn't really want to get out but unfortunately I couldn't do that.

I had places to be.

I sat around for a while before I could get ready to go see grams. It made my heart so happy that she was excited to see me after all these years. It made me sad that I couldn't visit her very often because it was hard being in Ohio.

It was hard being where it happened.

I stopped on the way to the nursing home to get some pictures developed since grams loved pictures. I thought it would also be helpful to jog her memory when I was away.

When I got to the nursing home I was led to her room. "Gracie? Is that you?" Grams said as I walked in. "No grams, it's Violet." I said as she gasped happily. "Oh, Violet! You look beautiful." She said as I walked over so I could sit on the bed next to her.

"Thanks, grams. You look beautiful too. I brought you something." I said and handed her the photo book in my hand. "What's this?" She asked and opened the book.

"Well, you told me yesterday that you love pictures so I had some printed out for you." I said as she looked through the book, tracing her fingers along the pictures.

"Oh my Gracie..why doesn't she visit anymore?" She asked as she look at a picture of my mom and I.

I held back tears as I took her hand. "It's a long story, but she wishes she was here with you. I just know it." I said as she looked at the picture.

We went through the photo album then talked for a little while before I had to leave. She had a couple activities that she needed to do for the day and I had a couple other places I had to go before leaving tomorrow.

"Bye, grams. I love you so much." I said and gave her a big hug. "I love you too, sweetheart." She said as the nurse came in to escort her to her activities.

When I left I got into my Uber. They took me to the grocery store so I could grab some flowers then they took me to the graveyard my parents were burried in.

I felt a cloud of dread forming over me as I got out of the car. It had been so long since I have been here for obvious reasons.

Even when I lived here I couldn't get myself to see the grave. It made it real that they were really gone.

I walked slowly towards where the grave was, feeling the tears streaming down my cheeks already. It didn't take long for me to find the grave since it was a long tombstone with both my parents name's on it.

"Hi mommy...hi daddy.." I whispered as I laid the flowers in between their names. I closed my eyes, feeling my heart ache even more than it was.

"Colby and I are having a hard time...I might have broken up with him." I said then took a deep shaky breath. "I know if you were here, you would have the best advice for me. You would tell me what to do." I said then wiped my cheeks as I sat down in front of the tombstone.

I looked at their names and reached up to trace them with my fingers. As I did this I thought about all the good times we had together

Most of them were good, but one was playing in my mind on repeat.

My mom and dad were having a huge argument downstairs as I sat in my room, trying to sleep. I heard them yelling at eachother but I didn't understand the context. It didn't last long, which led me to believe they made up.

My mom had come upstairs to check on me, only to see me still awake, sitting up in my bed.

"Violet, sweetheart...why are you awake?" She asked quietly as she came up to me. I could tell she had been crying because the tip of her nose was red.

"You and daddy were fighting." I said quietly as she frowned and cupped my cheek. "Oh sweetie...I know it sounds bad but we're okay. Fighting is okay sometimes." She said as I nodded. "Why are you fighting?" I asked as she sighed.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I love him and he loves me very much. Don't worry about us. We are going to go to bed and wake up to a different day." She said then kissed my head.

I wiped my cheek at the memory, relating it back to my life right now. I knew Colby loved me and I loved him but the wound was so fresh. I didn't know if I would be able to get passed this, even though I believed he was telling the truth.

Before I could even stop myself I was dialing Colby's number in my phone and bringing it to my ear.

I needed to talk to him.

The phone rang twice before Colby answered.

"Violet? Are you okay?" He asked as I took a deep breath. "I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have called.." I whispered and I pulled my knees into my chest. "No! No..it's okay. What's going on?" He asked with concern as I sniffled.

"I just..felt the urge to talk to you. It was dumb." I said and breathed out, feeling dumb for calling him.

"Talk to me about what?" He asked as I chewed my lip. "Um..it's gonna take a really long time for me to get passed what I saw but...I just had to tell you that I love you." I said as he sucked in a breath.

"Violet..I love you, too. I don't expect you to get over what you saw. I know how hard it was for you but..what does this mean?" He asked as I fidgeted with my earring.

"We can talk about it when I get back to LA..I don't know what it means. I still need space. I just...called you." I said awkwardly, feeling the regret seeping in.

I wasn't even close to being ready to forgive him or tell him that.

"I should go. I'm sorry for calling." I said quickly as I shook my head. "No-" Colby started but got cut off by me hanging up the phone.

I sighed then hung up the phone as a bunny hopped next to me. "Hi, dad." I mumbled then looked down at the grave again.

I felt a weird sense of comfort being here. It was a lot easier being here since I had gotten the closure I needed with them.

I sat there in silence for a while, just enjoying the weather before I got up and brushed myself off. "I love you, mom and dad. I love you so much." I said then kissed my hand and rubbed the tombstone before walking away.

I had one more place I had to go before I could leave.