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Chapter Thirty-Three: Loneliness

"I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I'd see you, baby. One more time again."

~Fire and Rain by James Taylor~

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Revised: July 18, 2022

Warnings: abuse, anxiety, depression, domestic violence, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault, violence, and other mature themes

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Zion's POV

A few hours later, I'm in my car on the way to Santa Maria.

The staff and security slowly began to regain authority and the principal came out to talk. At that point, I was still in Hawk's arms, an emotional wreck. I still am, really.

The police practically invaded our school to prevent any more fights from breaking out and the principal said some things I don't quite remember. I was too trapped in my own mind to listen. I hate to say it, but Hawk was amazing to be there for me the whole time, even though I could tell he was close to breaking, too. 

The ambulance came and they began to escort us away from the lobby very slowly. I remember how quiet the school was throughout this whole process until the sirens came. The whole population of West Valley High was stunned in silence. Even my sobs became silent because after awhile my throat began to hurt and now it's hoarse.

I remember the sirens, the flashing lights. I remember Hawk once again turning me away, not wanting me to see the scene unfold of them lifting Miguel onto the stretcher. But he doesn't know curiosity got the best of me and I looked. And I wish I'd listened to the boy with the mohawk. Because now I can never unsee it.

We were dismissed shortly after and I assured Hawk I was fine and left to go to my car. I thanked him, but it was awkward and we didn't even know how to address each other normally. Whatever is going on between us is... complicated.

But by the time I left, I was calm and my emotions were numb from being overused. Now, I feel the pain and agony rising in my chest again as I drive, but I remind myself I'm almost there and try to hold them at bay.

I know the school is going to contact Janice, especially since I was involved in the fight directly. I fled the premises quickly and headed this way. I have to admit that I'm not only going to my dad's grave for his birthday; this is also my escape plan. I had to leave the valley to avoid Janice and clear my head. My dad was always good at advice and helping to calm me down. I know my dad isn't alive anymore, but going to his grave is the best I option I have now.

When I make it to the church - where my grandparents used to go- and park, practically hopping my way to his gravestone. My ankle is even more fucked up and I've lost the boot, but that pain is barely anything compared to what I'm feeling.

"Hey, Dad. It's me... Zion," I say and kneel at his gravestone that says:

Andrew Michael Ambrose

1968-2018

A beloved son, brother, husband, and father. Rest In Peace.

"A lot... A lot has happened today," my voice cracks. It hurts to talk, but I need to explain everything to him. "I was supposed to come with my friend and bring you flowers, but, uh..." A sob leaves my mouth and tears begin to pour again. "A big fight happened today in school. And my best friend... M-Miguel..." I take a deep breath, "was kicked off the balcony by my ex boyfriend, Robby. I know he didn't mean it. But I think... I think Miguel is going to... going to..."

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