"You know that I love you, but I'm still learnin' to love myself. I'm still learnin' to love myself. Oh, I try and I try to remember sometimes if I breathe, it's alright."
~Still Learning by Halsey ~
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A/N: Bleh a chapter after far too long. Enjoy, lovelies.
Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, gun violence, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, weapons, and other mature themes
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Zion's POV
I sit in my parked car and stare blankly into space.
I'm not sure what I'm doing. I've been in here for half an hour.
I go over the revelation again: I love Robby, I'm opening up to people, I've conquered karate challenges, I have genuine friends outside of the dojo, I'm finally at peace with the drama between me and Eli, therapy is actually working, and I think I'm ready.
I can't be ready. It's only been two days since I told him I had to focus on myself.
In two days, so much has changed for the better. It feels like things may actually be looking up for me, but I don't want to jinx it.
This I know for sure: my feelings have shifted back to wanting Robby in my life again because I love him and he loves me.
I guess that's not a secret. The problem is that I want to act on it before I'm too late.
But, I really, really, really should focus on myself in case it all goes to hell again. I can't rely on another person to help me be strong. I want to rely on myself.
My phone rings. I pick it up off the passenger seat and see it's Miguel calling.
"Hello?" I answer. I feel like an idiot since I've just been sitting out here wasting time.
"Hey, when are you getting here? Mom made tacos with salsa verde," Miguel tells me excitedly.
"Oh," I panic as I turn off the car, "I just parked. I'll be right in."
"Okay. See you." He hangs up.
I look down at the keychain in my hand once I grab my keys. I stare at the butterfly for a moment too long.
I have to go inside and focus on this later.
Still, my eyes land on Robby's apartment, and my heart beats faster. I redirect my attention.
I unlock the door to the Diaz's apartment, and the smell of Carmen's home cooking comforts me instantly.
"Zion," Carmen smiles from where she sits at the dinner table, "how was your day?"
I hesitate. Aside from Demetri, "It was fine."
"Where'd you go after practice? You kind of disappeared," Miguel speaks up once I sit down with them.
"Disappeared?" Yaya echoes. She's trying to learn English so she can communicate with me and other people better. She's not just doing it for me. Still, it's sweet.
I look at the three of them wearily, "I was with Eli."
Miguel's jaw drops slightly before he catches himself, "You were with Eli?"
"Yeah," I nod. "We just talked."
"You 'just talked?'"
"Yeah."
YOU ARE READING
Cold Hearted ⭒ Cobra Kai
Fanfiction"People lose their morals when they get to the top." ⭒ After her father's death, Zion moves to Reseda where she makes a new group of friends. Then, one boy in particular catches her eye. When Miguel invites her to Cobra Kai karate, her initial goal...
