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Chapter Thirty-Five: Permanence

"Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes. And we keep living anyway; we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes. And if there's a reason I'm still alive when everyone who loves me has died, I'm willing to wait for it."

~Wait For It by Leslie Odom Jr.~

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Revised: July 23, 2022

Warnings: abuse, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, slight eating disorder, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault, violence, and other mature themes

A/N: I hate time skips and I apologize in advance for the disgusting but necessary one in this chapter and the next.

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Zion's POV

Flashback begin.

"Mom, please pick up," I mutter to myself as the phone rings. I was sent home from the hospital hours ago and I have yet to get an update on my dad. He wasn't doing well when I was there and at this point I just want to know if he's dead or alive. No news is good news, right?

"Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Janice Ambrose. Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message," the phone sends me to voicemail, of course.

"It's me. Again," I say in frustration. "I keep asking you for details on dad and you don't answer, so I'm just going to keep calling." I'm not going back to the hospital because I'll just get yelled at and kicked out again. "I'm not a little kid anymore, Mom. Pick up and just tell me what's been going on. I've been trying to get in contact with you for five hours. Please."

Flashback end.

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"Hey, Sensei. I don't know if you have an update on Miguel, but um... if you do, please call me back. I'm sorry I've called you a few times already. I just... am looking for some reassurance that he's okay," I say into the phone. "Okay. Thanks. Bye."

I know I sound like a wreck because I chose to call when I woke up from yet another nightmare. I wasn't even planning on calling, but waiting to learn about Miguel has been killing me inside. News channels have yet to update their information and I didn't want to call Tory or Aisha and bother them and I definitely don't want to call Hawk.

All I can remember is that Sensei Lawrence offered more than once to help me and he also said to go over to his house or call him if I ever need. But his place is too close to Miguel's and Janice's, so I decided a phone call would do. I didn't expect him to not pick up. I guess I'll try again later. I just want to talk this out with somebody that understands.

Robby warned me many times that his father wasn't there ever, especially when it mattered. I never wanted to believe him, but my hope in Johnny is dwindling. I'm even more worried about where Robby is in the midst of all of this. 

Now I'm in the Walmart parking lot in my car, homeless. I left Jess' in the middle of the night and drove back to The Valley. I left a note explaining how I don't belong there and how I need to come back and not give up and become independent. I also told her not to worry. I'm going to get a job and then get back into karate and then school and I'll be okay... eventually.

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