Teachers Pet

chapter 15: a sign

"Ms. L/n?" I heard the familiar voice say from behind me. I flinched a little and then froze, not turning around, not wanting him to see me in this current state. The cold air continued to breeze by and I had a shiver go down my spine as I heard him step closer. "Y/n" he said in his smooth deep voice and my heart crumbled a little at him saying my name. "Why are you up here at this hour? You need to get back to your dormitory immediately." he said grabbing my shoulder to turn me to face him. I kept my head down and slowly looked up into his eyes with my now red and puffy ones. He looked a tad shocked to find me in this state and his face softened a bit. "I-im sorry professor, I couldn't sleep. I needed to clear my head." I said sniffling and avoiding eye contact. "Well, you shouldn't have left your room, it's against the rules and you know that." he said in a more quiet soft tone. "I-i know I'll go now." I said my voice shaking as I went to walk past him. He touched my shoulder with his hand and turned to face him once more. "What's troubling you?" He asked with an almost concerned voice. I just looked up into his black eyes and took in a breath trying to calm myself. I shivered as another cold breeze came through and I put my arms across my chest and looked down at my feet. He took notice and I saw him take off his robes and hesitantly drape them over my shoulders. "You are going to freeze to death up here in that." he added, still expecting an explanation. "I didn't plan on coming all the way up here.'' I said, looking out the tower wrapping the robes around me."Are you going to tell me why you're upset or am I gonna have to alert Albus" he said in a more stern voice, but I could tell he was just trying to push me to tell him what's wrong. "Why do you care Sir?" I said in a quiet voice not wanting to sound harsh, I genuinely wanted to know why he wasn't deducting house points and assigning detention like he would have with any other student. "I just want to make sure you are...well." He said, looking out the tower as well. I walked over to the ledge and looked back up at the stars. He followed suit and stood next to me and followed my gaze up.

"Funny isn't it?" I said keeping my gaze on the sky, "How, fragile life can be. You can be down here one minute and up there the next." I said letting out a small laugh. "Is this about your sister Y/n?" He said looking down at me. I quickly darted my gaze to his and looked into his eyes, searching for any information I could find. "How do you know about her?" I asked a little shocked, I was sure only Dumbledore knew of her. He let in a small breath, "I um, Dumbledore spoke of her once to us teachers before you arrived". "What did he say?" I asked, remaining eye contact with the tall man. "Just that you two were fairly close and she..." he paused for a moment looking back out at the sky. "Died." I said, turning my gaze "You can say it, Severus. It's not a secret, and I'm no longer sensitive to the fact." I added he gave me a look for using his name but let it slide. "I'm upset because of my Father," He looked at me sharply and I just continued staring out, "and another issue i'm having but that's really none of your concern." I let out a ragged breath "Yes well im familiar with conniving Fathers." he said quietly. I looked at him, was he opening up to me? I felt butterflies and smiled a bit at this. "You are?" I said playing it cool. "Yes I do, my father was a horrible man to my mother and I" he said clearing his throat. "The reason I was crying wasn't just because of my problems, but because I don't know what to do about them, and I have no one to ask for advice from because... well they're personal." I said , looking down and silently taking in a whiff of his robes, parchment and firewhiskey with a hint of pine. "Well enlighten me, i've seen a lot, maybe I can help you." he said looking down at me. "Well I'm afraid there's not much I can do about my asshole father," I said laughing, "No I suppose not" he said, stiffening a bit. "As for my other issue I..." I debated saying anything what if he caught on or was able to see right through me and was repulsed? "Have you ever had feelings for someone, but there's no possible way you'd ever get to be with them?" I said looking up at him with saddened eyes. He straightened out and cleared his throat at this question.

Oh no I said too much he knows I mean him and now he's gonna kill me. He opened his mouth to speak and hesitated for a minute. "I did," He said, still not looking back at me. I studied his face as he thought for a moment, he was so handsome, and his skin looked so soft and his hooked nose was like a Gods. "Many years ago." he added, I assumed he wasn't going to tell me anything else about her. "What did you do about it?" I asked expectantly, amazed by how far our conversation had come along, so grateful he was being so kind and trusted me. "Well years later she married and had a child, and then she was killed." he said in a somber tone. I looked into his eyes with an apologetic look, this poor man, I can't imagine how i'd feel if that happened to me, no wonder his eyes hold so much pain, he lives with so much pain. "I didn't do anything because she didnt love me back, " he said looking down at me glancing over my expression, " but this is not always the case Y/n, you may have a chance, you just shouldn't hide your feelings. Like you said, we can be down here one minute and up there the next, so don't hold back." he said with a small smile, I looked into his eyes soaking in every word he was saying, I wish I could sit here and let it all out, tell him everything I feel for him, and let him hold me, but I knew that wasn't an option. "Now this does not mean you should be reckless though Ms. L/n, still follow the rules, just don't go wandering around the castle every night." he added, lightening the mood a bit and giving me a small smile.

"Now, come you need to get back to your dormitory and I need to get back to monitoring the halls for more delinquents like yourself." I laughed at his comment and nodded my head. We walked down the steps and he escorted me back to the Slytherin common room. I stopped outside it and looked at him. "Thank you Professor." I said smiling, I lingered for a moment and gave him a small hug, this time I knew I was doing it and it felt good. I felt him lightly resting his hands on my back, I could stay here forever, but I pulled away and looked at him for any sign of anger, but he just had a look of exhaust and slight remorse. I went to head into the room but remembered I still had his robes on. "Oh, here, sorry, thank you for lending them to me," I said taking them off and handing them back to him. "Of course, can't allow you to freeze to death that would be insensitive and get me fired." he said taking them and straightening up, he looked to be back in his usual mood and his eyes wandered away from mine. "Goodnight Severus." I said smiling. He shook his head with a straight face "Nope" he responded and I just laughed walking into the Slytherin common room and shutting the door behind me.

He walked off and I leaned against the door smiling a bit. I got back into my room and laid down. I smelt my nightgown and could faintly smell him on it. I blushed a little and looked out my window thinking of the conversation I'd just had with the cold Potions Professor. I had asked for a sign, an answer as to why, and then he showed up, I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but it felt nice knowing that small detail. The way he opened up to me and trusted me, I was shocked to say the least. Why did he comfort me and treat me so kindly? There's no way it's just because I'm kind to him, and I help him with class stuff right? I mean he has such a strong reputation here of being mean and resentful, and I see that side of him all the time, but he never ceases to surprise me with his understanding nature. He's a very intelligent man, he must be able to tell I'm worthy of receiving such treatment. No it's probably just him being nice to the headmasters goddaughter, surely nothing else, and I shouldn't let myself believe otherwise. I turned and looked at the clock, it was 3 o'clock. Holy shit we talked for so long. I took one more whiff of my nightgown, his faint smell growing more and more weak, and closed my eyes. Drifting off into the peaceful silence.