A True Devilish Angel, Maybe Angelic Devil (Complete)

The Room of Portraits

What makes an angel, an angel? Is it their kindness? Willingness to follow the rules? Their flawless appearance?
Then, what makes a devil, a devil? Their selfishness? Their blatant disregard of any rules? Their dishonesty?

What does it mean to be an angel or a devil? Is it the battle between what's good and what's evil, what's right and what's wrong?  Why is it that the only in between is the earthly ones the celestials are charged with looking after?

What is a perfect angel or a perfect devil? Why do these questions not have solid answers?

There's a blurred line. All definitions rely on perception and interpretation. What is right to one person could be seen as horrid to another. Morally right and wrong are decided based on how one was raised, what their predecessors taught them, but at times... Those teaching become lost and people make their own decisions based on the current circumstances.

So, when a person, whether human, angel, devil, is going through the crisis, all reasonable thought is thrown out a window.

Principals and rules don't register in your mind when you can't think straight because you don't even know why you're doing anything.

You ask yourself a million questions and never get an answer. Some just push them back and move on, some bow to the pressure and disappear, and some search for those answers as if their life depends on it.

My life depends on it, or well, my life did depend on it.

Without these answers, I though I wouldn't be able to sleep at night, that I wouldn't be able to eat or be able to care about those around me like I should. When in reality, I was just fine before.

Yes I was sad, I was lonely and I didn't know why. I blamed myself for so long, then clung to the small ounce of hope to get me through days I thought I would completely give up. That small hope I got from someone who saw me for me.

I let myself believe in that for so long, and in my childish mind, I thought that could last me a lifetime. It could have. It would have, but reality hit me hard. I was pulled into a scheme that made it impossible for the illusion I created for myself to stand.

Once that happened, once I had someone, someone who genuinely cared for my wellbeing, all those walls crumbled and for me to realize that, that person, the one that cries about her problems, caves under pressure, and just gets jealous over nothing... That is not me.

I don't care about any of that, I just want to live. I want to be happy as I am. So now, what should I do?

I need to accept myself as I am. So I'm deciding that, even if I don't get the answers I want now, I won't break down. I will search, but I'll do it a better way. If Reina lied and this is just a trick, I'll accept any punishment and live with that.  If she told the truth and I do find something, well... We'll find out.

I will resolve myself to being what I am, and I feel like, even without this, I finally know what that is now. But, it's too late to turn back at this moment.

"Are you ready, my angel?" He winks at me, holding a hand to the door.

"Ah- Y-Yeah, thank you, Sulfus." I move my hair in front of my face to hide it, but I'm pretty sure he notices my blushing regardless.

Somehow, when we kissed, my horns disappeared and I got my halo back. It was similar to how I became a devil, only, rather than crossing the misty river, I just sat by it, watching it flow through time. I'm not sure what that river has to do with me being an angel or devil, but it seems to hold some kind of sway over my fate.

Together, Sulfus and I open the doors to the room we're not supposed to be in, but go into anyway and start looking around.

The longer I look, the worse I start feeling. "....I.. I shouldn't have done this, this is wrong."

Sulfus walks next to me. "But isn't this what you wanted? What about what Reina-"

I cut him off, "She lied to me. She was using my desperation for the truth and told me to come in here for some reason. I am such an idiot!" I went back to the door, hut by the time I did, it was too late.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd figure it out this quickly. Then again, you were always smarter than the average, angel, is it?"

I don't have time to feel sorry for myself, or to even try to make things right. Sulfus stands in between me and Reina. I don't know how I could've been so blind, but I think that Sulfus woke me up.

I was so naive to believe anything that came out of that woman's mouth. It's all my fault. If I had just ignored her provocation, if I had just accepted my life as it was, none of this would've happened. Sure I'm young, I'm just a child, but I shouldn't have let my emotions get the better of me.

"... I did this because I was afraid... Afraid that the reason I was so alone, the reason they looked at me like I was...below angelic, was my fault. I believed it my entire life, and then you... You-" I step out in front of Sulfus, glaring at the woman. "You gave me a new hope, that none of this was my doing and I wouldn't have to blame myself anymore... Why would you use me like that?"

Reina chuckles, which only makes me more upset, "Well, you were the easiest to use. I saw you, so sad, yet not showing it, trying your hardest to be one of the angels while acting like a devil behind their backs, you were so uncertain of who you really were. People like you are very easy." She walks around the room, looking at the pictures on the walls.

I think about what she said, then look back at Sulfus, waving towards the door in secret, before mumbling, "I see... Yeah, that makes sense."

"I'm really very surprised that you came to so quickly, so tell me Elos, what grand revelation-"

I turn back to her while Sulfus is creeping towards the door. "It wasn't anything grand, it was just... If one person, devil or angel, could love me as I am, I must be doing something right. Angel or devil, even after he heard I could be a monster, he still loved me... He still loves me. And I love him too. As gushy or cringe worthy as it is, his love for me makes me feel like I could do anything. It doesn't matter what I am as long as I am me."

Reina rolls her eyes, then takes out her staff and shoot a wave of energy at the door, putting a forcefield around it that Sulfus couldn't smash through. Even my powers couldn't get through it which meant we were stuck.

In order to keep us down, she hit us with the energy black sphere. The energy itself felt so familiar to me, and hurt like I was being hit by like, a truck or something. Not that I know what that's like.

I was tricked, I'm well aware of that, and I lost to an old witch that knew how to use my emotions against me. I was selfish to get Sulfus involved.

This will never happen again. I bet my life on it.