Chapter 58//Troye

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Troye

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I sit in the cold waiting room with Korey under the dim florescent lights for the rest of the night crying. When the sun starts to rise again, painting the sky beautiful colors that would usually make me extremely happy, my mother takes me home. I won't speak to her because I don't know what to say. I won't speak to anyone because the only person I want to talk to is dead. The love of my life is dead. He's not here anymore.

When I get home I walk through the tall door and down the narrow hallway to my room with out even stopping to pet Jagga when he nudges my foot with his fat nose. I fall into my too cold bed and curl up into a tight ball. My eyes fall shut and I can feel tears starting to form. I hold them back because I know Tyler wouldn't want me to be crying. He wants me to smile. I close my eyes.

I wake up in a cold sweat, tangled in a variety of blankets, and I start sobbing. I hug my pillow and cry out of relief. He's not dead. It was just a fucking dream. Oh my god. I can't believe my brain thought of that. That is the worst nightmare I have ever had in my whole life. I never want to have to experience that again.

Once the initial shock has passed I call Tyler. I don't see the fact that its three in the morning until after he doesn't pick the up the phone. I leave him a long voice mail telling him all about the dream I just had. Just saying it out loud makes it a little better. After I hang up the phone I lie down and curl up in my warm soft blanket and pretend that Tyler's arms are around me. I run happy memories of Tyler and I through my head as I fall asleep.

I wake up to the feeling of strong arms around me and kisses being planted on the back of my neck. Tyler. I flip around in his arms and kiss him like I haven't  seen him in months. He doesn't object until I try to take his shirt off. He sits up and pushes me away that there is about five or six inches between us.

"Your whole family is home. We are not doing this right now." I pout crossing my arms as l look away from him. He grabs my hand and I can't help but smile when he squeeze it. I'm going to miss being able to hold his hand whenever I want and being able to kiss him and I'm just going to miss him in general. "You can always call me or text me or whatever whenever you need me, Troye Sivan. I will drop everything to talk to you. You matter to me more than anything and I will not let distance ruin this relationship. You are too important to me."

"I love you, Tilly." I whisper into his neck as I lean into his shoulder not being able to stand the distance, even if its only a few inches. Tyler lets go of my  hand and wraps an arm around me as he replies.

"I love you too, Troye Sivan."  After that Tyler explains that his mother told him to come stay here until we come to Tyler's. After asking my parents Tyler drove here. He was suppose to come tomorrow but after hearing my voicemail he didn't want to wait any longer. He was going to come tomorrow because tomorrow is my birthday. 

"What did you get me for my birthday?" I ask Tyler a few hours later when I've eaten and gone through my normal morning routine. He shakes his head at me then pecks the side of my head with his lips. 

"If I told you it would ruin the surprise. Trust me its going to be nice day. I've got a whole day planned for just the two of us." I almost start to imagine what he could possibly have in store for me then I realize that its pointless because Tyler is the kind of person that you can never guess what he has planned. Tyler drags me out of my room and forces me to go into the living room that is filled with my family and my brother's pregnant soon to be wifey. 

Tyler starts talking  to Tyde and I turn to talk to Steele because he's just sitting there not talking to anyone. Lucy is talking to my mother and Sage is talking to dad, no doubt trying to get out of this little family gathering so she can spend the day with Zac.

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