My Stupid Senior (Troyler AU)

Chapter 55//Troye

Troye

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I wake up in the morning with a pounding headache and the absence of my boyfriend wrapped around me. Damn it he's probably already gone on his day trip. I won't get to see him until graduation tonight. What the hell am I going to do all day?

I shove all of our personal things into a bag knowing that this is the last time I will be up here for this year. I look around the room as I stand at the door thinking of all the things that have happened this year. The beginning when I ran a way from Tyler every time he asked me the simplest thing. All the Tronnor talks that happened up here and the Troyler time. All the laughs and movies with my two best friends in the whole world. That's what I need to do today. I need to make things okay with Connor again. We can't be awkward. I need him in my life.

Connor told me that he's trying to convince his parents to let him come back to JMA because he wants to graduate with his friends and his boyfriend. Connor isn't quite as smart as me though so he'll still have a while year to endure after I graduate next year. His parents are fairly lenient but for some reason they seem set in having him come with them. Connor told them about his boyfriend and his whole family us happy for him. Connor told me that he was on the phone for hours with his siblings and parents. They are accepting him and I can't help but be extremely happy for my best friend.

I walk out of tree house locking the door as I sip the last Capri Sun. This is such a bitter sweet moment. It's sad because I may be saying goodbye to this tree house forever but it's happy because of all the memories I've made here with my best friends. I sit on the balcony staring up at the canopy of branches above my head. I'm going to miss this. This tree house has been my home for the last year. It's been my safe place and now I'm going home. I won't have a place to escape to, other than my room, when my siblings are being jerks or when I'm crying because I miss my Tilly so much.

"Tro?" I hear Connor's voice and I look over just and his head pops into view. He hauls himself up onto balcony and walks over to sit beside me. "Hi."

"Hi Con." We sit there for a little while just studying the canopy of the trees Connor takes a photo of the canopy then makes me put out our feet handing over the edge so he can take a photo.

"Ever time we try to talk about you kissing me everything gets really weird. I don't feel like our friendship has been the same since then. I don't want it to be awkward between us. I want my old Connor. I want my old friendship. The one that wasn't so complicated." I can't help but notice the way his eyes still spark at the way I say my Connor. Gosh I'm an idiot. He looks like he's thinking though. He looks like he thinking hard.

"I've always had a little crush on you, Troye. It just got worse with time. When we became real friends I realized that there are a million little beautiful things that no one else ever notices about you. The way you only wear your hair natural around people you feel extremely comfortable around. The way you can't look me in the eye when I'm talking about this. I find it adorable. The way you bend your fingers back when your talking about something that excites you. So many little amazing things about you. I noticed them all and it made me love you. I loved you a lot. I still do but now that I've found Charlie I love you in a different way. I love you more like you love me, like a brother. Charlie makes me so genuinely happy. I think with Brooklyn I had a feeling at times that maybe something else was happening. I don't know being with Charlie just feels right. I'm rambling sorry. I just want you to know what I'm thinking. I want our simple friendship back too but I don't think it will ever be exactly the same. Change can be good though."

I listen to Connor as he talks to me and I realize that what he's saying is true. I do all those things he said but he's wrong about one thing. He's not the only one who notices those things. Tyler has noticed these things too. Except for the hair thing. That's all Con. Tyler has noticed everything though. I feel bad knowing that I caused him so much pain probably for a lot longer than I ever realized. I'm such a God damn idiot. I never notice when people really care about. I always go for the people I think care about me. Obviously the prime example of that is my entire relationship with Austin Moore. I was to caught up in my star football player senior to see that the love of my life was trying to win my heart. I will never forgive myself for being so absolutely thick.