• t h i r t y e i g h t •

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"Roses bloomed from the crevices of her bloody wrists, thorns drawing crimson fluid. He looked at her and said, 'red is my favourite colour'"

 He looked at her and said, 'red is my favourite colour'"

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B l a z e

Daylight grated against my eyes, sleep abruptly expelling from my body. My head pounded when I jerked up, the nightmare still ripping at the edge of my vision.

I looked at the time and saw that I had missed school. Why had no one woken me up? Just the thought of staying here more than necessary sent a wave of panic through my body.

A tingling sensation spread on my wrists, and I looked down to see that the bandages had come loose in my sleep and were now speckled with blood. Shit.

I felt bile rising up my throat suddenly, and I stumbled out of bed.

With rugged steps, I staggered over the entire mess on my bedroom floor, almost tripping over all the clothes that were strewn haphazardly everywhere. Locking the bathroom door behind me, I slumped against it for a moment.

My feet wobbled when I made my way to the toilet, barely missing the seat as all the contents of my stomach emptied into the bowl. The acerbic aftertaste clung to my tastebuds, and I dry heaved for a few minutes after to get rid of it.

The entire bathroom became a humid chamber, and I struggled to get up to the sink. Rinsing my mouth, I felt several sharp pangs near my forehead, indicative of an oncoming headache.

Fucking great, just what I needed.

My hair stuck to my forehead in a tangled, clammy mess and when I pushed it away, I winced at the sight. Dark rings encircled the bottom of my eyes, jarring against the pallid skin that was slick with sweat.

I opened my braid and pushed all my hair up into a bun, brushing my teeth afterwards. As I was stripping off my clothes to take a shower, I once again noticed the blood dotting my forearms when I took off the bandages. The cuts weren't as red as they were yesterday, but they were far from healing. Once the water was mildly warm, I stepped inside.

My entire shower felt like a daze, consumed by exhaustion and my only focus was avoiding getting water on my cuts. I remembered all the blood on the floor yesterday and instantly felt a pang of regret.

By the time I dried off and bandaged myself again, I was sleepy and I changed back into joggers and a tee. The entire house was weirdly quiet when I peeked into the hallway, and I sighed before snuggling back into bed.

I glanced at my phone, remembering the long phone conversation with Rafael yesterday. Involuntarily, I had the urge to call him but then the time indicated it would've been the first period for him.

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