Predator (DWT x OC)

18

I drift in and out of unconsciousness, my hair tangling in the biting wind, as Eret carries me back to L'manburg. Tommy follows us, stomping angrily and huffing loudly in annoyance. He's pissed off, at Dream, as per usual, and at the fact that Eret has to be the one to carry me home. 

I'm exhausted, so completely drained from my outburst, that I just bury my face in Eret's shoulder and let the tides of sleep push and pull me back into unconsciousness. The even rise and fall of his steady footsteps drum rhythmically against me, and the calm regularity of my heart beat thump in perfect synchrony, a chorus of the aftermath of sheer panic and fear. 

"What the hell happened?" I hear Sapnap's voice call out, and Eret pauses. I groggily lift my head up, taking in the sight of the towering walls, and the way their imposing presence couldn't possibly be ignored. 

"It's a long story." Eret answers, taking one step forward.

"You're not going into L'manburg." Tommy stops him, putting his hand out in front of him.

"Tommy, I'm just going to get Ro settled." Eret says tiredly, but Tommy stands firm. I don't blame the kid, either. You don't let a person who has betrayed you, and everything you care about, back into the one place that means something to you, the one place they tried to destroy. You hold onto it tightly, guard it fiercely, and swear to yourself that you'll never make the same mistake again, promise that you'll learn. You don't break that promise easily. 

"I've got her." Sapnap interjects. I turn my head to watch him walk towards us blearily. I reach my arms out, latching around his neck as Eret gently passes me into his arms, and he pulls me snug against his chest.

"You okay Rosie?" He asks gently.

"No." I whisper back, and I can feel his grip tighten on me, as he starts to walk back towards the walls, Tommy in tow. The blurry dizziness starts to swirl back into my vision, as we pass under the entrance to L'manburg, and it's soon replaced by a never ending darkness. 

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I wake up in a cot, face smushed into someone's back, someone's arms coiled around my middle, my legs tangled with another pair. I push myself up slowly, letting a blonde head fall off my stomach. There's three bodies packed into the cot, four if you include me. Niki, Tommy and Tubbo are all lying awkwardly, curled uncomfortably around each other in some kind of human tetris like attempt to fit all together.

I rub my forehead wearily, wincing at the dull throbbing headache. My arms are inflamed and irritating, my tailbone and broken hand still sore. I shakily stand up, grabbing a blanket from one of the empty beds and wrapping it around me. I quietly tip toe out of the med bay, the calm bleakness of grey dawn light enveloping me. 

The quiet seems louder than silence, a buzz of a world devoid of its normal life, and noise. Everything seems to stand still and undisturbed, even the soft sky, a stretching canvas of empty calmness. 

I notice a heap of black and white slumped against the side of the van, a head of thick, wavy black hair bowed down against the chill in the air. 

"Sapnap?" I whisper, stalking closer to the sleeping form. 

"Sapnap!" I repeat, and he jerks his head up. 

"Rosie?" He mumbles, in a state of drowsy confusion.

"Why are you sleeping outside?" I question.

"I didn't think they'd want me to sleep near them, you know? I tried to destroy this place." He explains, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I went back home with Eret and George, but I thought I'd come back to be there when you wake up."

I flick some dirt with my toe, unable to meet his eyes. "You know what happened then."

"Dream told me his side." He says, patting the grass next to him for me to sit down. I lower myself onto the ground gently, throwing the blanket over both of us, and burrowing into his side. 

"Do you really hate Dream?" He asks, after a moment of silence.

"I don't forgive him for what he did to me." I say quietly.

Sapnap takes in a deep breath. "That's not the question Rosie."

I sigh. "I don't know Sapnap, my feelings are all over the goddamn place and I don't know how to sort them out. I hated him when I said it. Maybe I don't hate him now, maybe I'll hate him again in another moment, maybe I'll love him again. But I don't forgive him. He still hurts me everyday, whether he wants to or not." 

Another beat of silence passes, and Sapnap swallows. "Do you hate me?"

I try and ignore the way my  my throat tightens at his question. "I love you Sapnap, but that still doesn't mean you don't hurt me too."

He nods, leaning against me, waiting for me to continue. I take in a shaky breath. "You all played a part in this. And as much as time has passed, and as much as we've moved on, it's still destroying me. I can't just get over it. That's hard to deal with, especially when you're with the people that hurt you." 

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you Rosemary." He says softly. "I'm sorry for attacking L'manburg and making you feel scared to lose your home and your family. I'm sorry for forcing you into a war that you never should have been fighting. I'm sorry for hurting your friends, and for helping Dream kidnap you. I'm sorry for chasing after you when you tried to escape, and for guarding your door when you were being held captive. I'm sorry that you have to suffer so much, even though you've never done anything except try and find a family you love. I'm so sorry."

It's the first time I've ever heard someone directly acknowledge what they did to me. No vague apologies, and impossible promises, but real, tangible remorse, and acceptance for what they've done. And I realise, in that moment, the sheer irreversibility of my pain. I also realise the pure strength I have that managed to keep me going through so much. And that maybe, I can find the kindness to forgive again. 

Maybe. 

Because pain twists you into a cruel, bitter and fragile being. It makes you grow thorns, and put up walls so thick so that no one can hurt you again. And then you're trapped, you and your soft underbelly rotting away in your own prison. The kindness shrivels into nothing, and your happiness wilts away, leaving the charred remains of your humanity. 

Because I am human. I have been through enough. So I somehow find it in myself to say, "I forgive you Sapnap." 

And then I lock the doors again. 

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A/N I'm so excited to explore Rosie's internal conflict over the course of this book. I think I'm really going to go into the idea that she is human, so she will make mistakes, and react irrationally, and she won't be perfect, and will struggle with her trauma and her feelings. Rosie won't be so forgiving and nice anymore. 

Next couple of chapters will go over Rosie settling into l'manburg, as well as her navigating her new relationship with the Dream Team and Eret, and the members of l'manburg (coughwilburcough). Also...we may meet some new people, because we can't have too much sadness!

Thank you all so much for the wonderful birthday wishes! They really made my day and put a huge smile on my face!

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I hope you enjoyed,

Oopsies x