I'm Just Sayin' If You Really Loved Me You Would Share Him -A Jamilams Fanfic

Chapter Forty Three

Aight so, to set the scene. At this point, it's the next day because I kinda forgot that time was a thing so Alex and John's nap before Alex's breakdown was a few hours long (yes I know that happened ages ago) and Thomas and John spent ages comforting him. The conversations kind of lasted all night so it's now the next morning after John's mom, y'know. A lot happened in those twenty-four hours, but this is fanfic, I have a right.

Thomas nudged Alex gently. "Now that we've sorted out all that stuff about John, don't you think we should talk to him?" he asked.

Alex frowned and shook his head. "Not yet. Also, cause of everything that's been going on, we kinda forgot that you said you were gonna visit your siblings?" he reminded him timidly.

Thomas gasped. "Oh my god, we did. Can we go see them now? We can ask John if he wants to come too, as a distraction from everything that's going on here, but we don't have to," he rushed to assure Alex as he saw the uncertainty on his face.

"No, I think it would be good to bring John. He's also gonna know how it feels to lose a mom and he has his siblings so he knows how to act around them, so yeah, we should invite him," he agreed.

John did not think it would be good to bring him along. "No," he said simply, sitting with his back to them, cupping a mug.

Alex frowned. "Why not?" he persisted. "It'll be a good distraction and you're good with kids."

John chuckled mirthlessly. "I don't care, I'm not going," he snapped back, gulping whatever was in his cup. Alex sighed and massaged his temple aggravatedly.

"But why? It's not like you're going to do anything other than sitting here and mope around. You may as well do something worthwhile with your time," he argued.

John finally turned to face the two, and Thomas knew he'd been crying. "Have you already forgotten that my mother died yesterday, Alexander? Can't I just have some space to grieve her? I'm not moping, I'm sad, why don't you understand that?" he asked frustratedly.

Thomas jumped in. "John, you don't have to come if you don't want to. It's up to you. Everyone deals with their grief differently, and, Alex your way of dealing with it might be distractions, but maybe John's is letting himself mourn for a while. And that is fine. Okay? If you change your mind, you can ask Angie to drive you over," he offered.

John blinked away fresh tears and nodded quickly, hoping that the couple would leave. Thomas touched his shoulder gently before pulling Alex away. "Wait!" 

Thomas turned back to John at the sound of his voice. "Yeah, is everything okay?" he checked. John nodded quickly with his eyes squeezed shut.

"Can I come with you?" he asked. "I changed my mind."

Part of Alex wanted to be a dick and say that Thomas had told him that he could ask Angelica for a lift if he changed his mind, but Thomas sent him a glare and he refrained.

"Of course you can come with us," Thomas said warmly. "I said you could, didn't I?" John turned around to face them and Alex held out a hand.

"Come on then, we don't have all day," he said impatiently. John stared at his hand, dumb-founded and Alex blushed. "Uh, you don't have to, you know, take it," he stammered out, starting to withdraw his hand, but John grabbed it before he could get very far.

Thomas smiled down at Alex and wrapped an arm around John. "We can just walk instead of getting Angie to give us a lift if you guys want," he suggested. John nodded and leaned his head against Thomas's side.

Alex gave his hand a quick squeeze, redirecting John's attention back to him. "I'm sorry I was being so insensitive. I should have put more consideration into your feelings," he said quickly, looking away with a blush.