I'm Just Sayin' If You Really Loved Me You Would Share Him -A Jamilams Fanfic

Chapter Eleven

A long, stunned silence followed James's words. Then Alex said, "Alright then." Then he walked away from the two friends, leaving another silence in his wake. 

Thomas stared after his crush for a moment before turning to James. "What the fuck, James?" he snapped. "Your boyfriend tells you that his brother is trying to drag him across the continent and your response is to break up with him?"

James looked at the floor intensely, tears forming at the corner of his eyes. "I had to Thomas," he whispered. "I had to."

"Oh yeah? He is as close to perfect as you can get, Jemmy. You had him. Why'd you let go?" Thomas asked, his voice quiet and sad. He continued, his voice growing rough, "I would have been happy watching you two continue to date, it eased the pain of me not being able to be with him actually, and you just threw that away. What's your reasoning behind dumping him?" 

"You," James answered. "How could you not see it Thomas? He's in love with you, hopelessly so. I couldn't keep him from that. No one could." Thomas scoffed.

"James, if he wasn't happy or thought he'd be happier with me he would have told you. He was happy with you. He knew I didn't want a relationship and we both knew that he loved you."

James didn't say anything. "Thomas, it's not just that. Remember Michael?" Thomas's brow burrowed in confusion. 

"You mean that cute boy who had a crush on his best friend that we first met last night? Of course I do, what does he have to- oh, you didn't. You did not just break up with Alexander fucking Hamilton because you developed a fucking puppy crush on a guy you met yesterday." 

James's silence told Thomas everything he needed to know. "Wow," he said, shocked. "You really did, huh." 

Thomas turned away from his best friend and pointed himself in the direction Alex had gone. "I'm going to go check on Alex," he told James before walking away, leaving James alone.

 Thomas walked through the halls, looking for his crush. He checked every classroom, every bathroom. It was like Alex had disappeared. Thomas was on the verge of giving up when he finally saw him.

 He was sitting outside under a massive oak tree. Thomas instantly ran out towards him and found him completely still and calm, too still and calm for Alex. 

"Lex? How are you feeling?" Thomas asked cautiously. Alex looked up at him through too bright and shiny eyes. 

"I feel fine Thomas, great! Never been better, what about you?" he answered, far too lively and chipper for someone who had just gotten dumped. 

"Are you sure? You're not acting like your normal self. Alex, come on, you can talk to me. I know how you're feeling," Thomas said. "Even though I was the one to do the dumping with James, it still feels like I'm the one who lost. Well," he snorted, "Probably because I was." 

Alex fell silent for a second. Then he said, "Y'know the funny thing about this? Me and John were talking about me and James breaking up earlier. I didn't actually think it would happen right now though." He took a shaky breath, the first sign of a normal reaction to being dumped he had shown. 

Thomas watched as Alex slowly lost his composure and broke down. It felt weird to watch, almost like this was something private. Thomas gently reached out a hand and touched his back to test the waters and see how he reacted. 

Alex slowly looked up at Thomas, his eyes slowly becoming red-rimmed. Then he gently touched Thomas's chest. That was the only thing needed to break Thomas's self-reservation and pull the broken boy towards his body. 

Alex cried into his chest quietly for a couple of minutes. Then he sat up and wiped away any leftover tears, pulling away from Thomas. "I'm alright. Sorry you had to see that," he said, pulling himself together. 

Thomas smiled at him sadly. "It's fine. I didn't mind," he said. "How do you feel, really?" 

Alex took a breath. 

"Well, I honestly don't know. I feel a tiny bit better than I did two minutes ago, but other than that, my emotions are scattered everywhere," he admitted. "I've never felt like this before.  Then again, I've never broken up with anyone before and rejection's a completely different experience."

Thomas looked at him sadly, already longing to pull him into his arms again.

"You didn't date on Nevis?" he asked. Alex shook his head. "Oh. Why not? I would've thought everyone would've been tripping over themselves to date you."

Alex let out a bitter laugh. "Most of the adults on the island told the other kids my age to stay away from me and my brother," he explained.

"Oh," Thomas said. "Why? I mean, you couldn't have been that bad."

 Alex let out that same, harsh laugh. "My mother was a whore, my father was god knows where and my brother and I were bastards. We weren't classed as the best of the bunch." 

"Oh," Thomas repeated. 

Alex shrugged. "It wasn't too bad. I had James and my mom. My father never really liked me, he always adored James. And James wasn't my biggest fan because my mother preferred me. My mother though," he sighed. "She was perfect."

"You must miss her," Thomas sympathised. Alex nodded, tears in his eyes. Thomas continued, "I know how you feel. My girlfriend died when I was fifteen, so, two years ago, and I still miss her." Alex's eyes widened.

"Really? I had no no idea, Thomas, I'm so sorry." Thomas shook his apology off. 

"Please, don't apologise. Unless you were the drunk driver that hit her that night, you had nothing to do with her death." Alex sighed.

"I'm sorry that I'm focusing on it but, god, I feel so fucking useless right now! Why did he do it? What did I do?" he whimpered, tears forming in his eyes again. 

Thomas instantly pulled him into another hug. "Don't worry Alexander. You're strong, I know you can get through this. I'll help you get through this and you can help me get over Reynolds. We can work together," he whispered encouragingly. 

Alex looked up at him with tear filled eyes. "We can?" he asked, his voice starting to get hoarse from all the crying he had done that day. 

Thomas nodded. "We can," he answered semi-confidently.