I'm Just Sayin' If You Really Loved Me You Would Share Him -A Jamilams Fanfic

Chapter Fifty Eight

John lay in Thomas's bed, curled under the covers, sniffing and trying to stop his flow of tears. He deeply inhaled the scent of Thomas that lingered in the long-abandoned bed and stifled another sob.

The door opened and light footsteps padded over to the bed. "Everyone's worried about you," Lizzy commented lightly from behind him. "I volunteered to check up on you, and if you talk to me then I'll tell them you were asleep."

John wiped his nose and pulled the duvet over him even more tightly. "I'm fine, thank you," he managed to get out. Lizzy scoffed.

"Suuuuure you are," she drawled. "Do I need to go get Thomas and Alex?"

Panic took over John's limbs and he shot up, grabbing her wrists. "Please don't," he pleaded. "I don't want to talk to them."

Lizzy sent him a deadpan glare. "Then talk to me," she begged. "John, I don't know you very well, but you seemed nice the last time you were here and you make Thomas happy and I don't want you to be sad."

Stifling another sob, John wrapped the duvet around his shoulders as he released Lizzy's wrists. "Sorry," he muttered. "I've just been feeling anxious lately."

"Anxious about what?" Lizzy prompted gently.

John sighed. "Anxious about Alex and Thomas getting bored of me now that I've moved back home. And Thomas all but confirmed it on the way here. 'I don't feel obligated to care about you'," he quoted, resting his chin on his knees.

Lizzy patted his shoulder sympathetically. "I think the three of you should talk. I'm gonna be honest, this sounds like a hella big amount of miscommunication and y'all should just say how you're feeling," she told him.

He nodded, wiping his nose with the butt of his hand. "You're probably right," he admitted. "But I'm too scared of what they'll say to talk to them."

Lizzy groaned in exasperation and got up. "I'm going to go get my idiot brother and his idiot boyfriend and the two of them are going to talk to their idiot boyfriend," she warned.

The door slammed shut behind her and John laughed wetly, drying his face with his shirt.

After a few minutes of waiting, the door opened again and Alex and Thomas walked in together. Thomas gasped, "Baby!" and ran over, scooping John up and placing him in his lap.

"It's okay, we're here now, it's okay," he repeated soothingly. Alex came over too and sat next to the pair, resting a hand lightly on John's back.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked. "Just talk to us, please."

John broke down in sobs again. "Y'all gonna get bored of me," he wailed, "And I'm gonna be on my own again! I don't wanna be on my own again!"

Thomas and Alex exchanged shocked and worried looks. "John, baby," Alex said gently. "What makes you think we're gonna get bored of you?"

Sniffing, John explained, "I ain't livin' with y'all no more. Y'all gonna figure out you're better without me."

"Darlin', I didn't know you felt that way," Thomas murmured, shocked. "Why didn't you just talk to us?"

John sent him a betrayed look. "Because you said you didn't care about me," he sniffed. Alex shot Thomas an angry look.

Brow furrowing in confusion, Thomas asked, "When did I say that I didn't care about you?"

"Said you didn't feel obligated to care about me," John corrected. 

Thomas's eyes widened with realisation. "Baby, I meant that I don't feel like I need to care about you because I want to care about you," he explained. "I didn't mean that I don't care about you."

John rubbed his nose and looked up at Thomas out of wide eyes. "That's what you meant?" he gasped. Thomas nodded earnestly. "Asshole!" he yelled, shoving him.

"What? What did I do now?" Thomas asked, wounded. 

John pouted at him. "Why didn't you fucking say that at the time?" he asked irritatedly. 

"I didn't think I had to explain it!" Thomas exclaimed. Alex giggled at his boyfriends. 

Thomas and John turned to face him as he asked, "So, is that it then? We're all on the same page? We promise we're not gonna get bored of you John."

John hesitated before climbing off of Thomas and onto Alex, who made a small oof sound due to the fact that he was smaller than John. 

But his discomfort was well made up for when John buried his face in his neck and muttered an adorable, "Kay."

Cooing, Thomas wrapped his arms around his boyfriends. "I love you guys," he told them. John just nodded, dropping off to sleep, but Alex kissed Thomas gently.

"I love you guys too," he whispered. John snuffled into his neck and he nearly melted. "He's so cute!" he whisper-squealed.

Cracking an eye open, John looked at his boyfriends. "I'm still awake you know," he murmured. 

Thomas laughed. "Barely darlin'," he teased. John whined sleepily and snuggled deeper into Alex's lap. "Wait, are you genuinely tired?" Thomas realised.

John opened his eye again. "No, Thomas, I'm making up my exhaustion and letting you two pray on my adorableness for my gain," he sarked.

"And there's the John we know and love," Alex cheered, kissing his forehead. "Go to sleep baby."

John did as instructed and Alex and Thomas sat for a few minutes, just listening to his breaths. "We can't let him get like that again," Alex muttered.

Thomas nodded in agreement. "I know," he replied in the same low tones. "But for now, let's just cuddle with him and catch up on sleep. God knows we haven't been sleeping well without him."

Alex nodded, carefully maneuvering his body into a reclined position without disturbing John. Thomas did the same, curling his body around his boyfriends, sighing in relief when John rolled over a little and continued sleeping on his chest.

"Sweet dreams," Lizzy called from the doorframe, shutting the door quietly behind her.

~

This chapter was a bit shorter than usual, but it's all good! 

There's only a couple of chapters left before we move onto the sequel. I've got a name for it already and it just needs a cover before we're good to go! 

Chapter Sixty is going to be the last, but I'll leave the name of the sequel in the A/n at the end of it.

See y'all next week!