•27 May 2021•
Its funny how people must be broken from inside but still manage to pull a smile on their faces, still manage to show how they are all fine when in reality they need someone to save them. Save them from falling into darkness, save their hearts from turning black.
And the 7 men sitting in front of you are perfect examples. Why only them? Even you do the same right? Hiding your pains, your agony has been your habit since your parents left you. You're almost at the same place as them, yet you're jealous. Jealous of how they have each other to share their cries and problems with, jealous to know that how they have seen each other's broken forms and are here for each other. While you? You are all alone, struggling on your own, crying on your own, healing your broken self on your own.
You want someone too, someone to hold you when you cry just like Yoongi and Jin did last time, someone to tease you just like Jungkook teases Jimin, someone to lift up your mood just like Hoseok does with everyone, someone to shower you with affection just like Taehyung and someone to take care of you even when you don't ask just like Jimin. You need someone to show you that you're loved just like these 7 boys do with each other.
Standing in the lobby of first floor, you were watching how the boys were genuinely happy when they were with each other. No fake smiles, no cold attitude. They were their real selves just as Jin described them. While the maknae line was constantly fighting for some mere gummy candies, Jin was asking them to be mature for a second. Hoseok and Yoongi were sitting on the couch shaking their heads at the behavior of maknaes. And Namjoon? He was looking from afar at his beloved brothers with shining eyes.
What hurted you was that as soon as you'll go to them they'll turn back to their heartless selves. Two weeks. Its been 2 weeks since you stepped in this house and today was the day you'll be joining your new university because Jin strictly forbid you from home schooling. But guess what.... The maknae line wasn't too happy with his decision. They hated you and it was clearly written on their face, seen in their eyes and they didn't hesitate to deliver this message to you through their words.
But it hurted you till the extent that you just want to leave this family and go back to the orphanage. Atleast there won't be a Taehyung to tell you everyday how much of a bitch you are, no Jungkook to purposely eat your share of food and make you starve in the afternoon knowing there's no hyung to protect you, no Jimin to tell you he'll make you suffer. There won't be Namjoon who would look pass you as if you didn't exist, no Hoseok trying to hide his happy side in front of you and no Yoongi to look at you with disgust.
You hated it. Their looks, their words, their actions, everything they were doing towards you. And their thoughts were no different than you. They hated you too without any deny. Especially after the day they asked you what happened the night Yoongi found you all vulnerable but you stayed silent. What's the use of telling if they won't even care. What made them furious was how you abruptly left the hall when they were all asking you same question repeatedly. Wait! Let's correct it..... threatening you to answer the same question.
"I wish I wasn't adopted. I wish you all weren't betrayed by your sister. I wish I was not going through this pain. Why the hell am I even getting attached to you all when you do nothing else than hating me?" You asked yourself as a single tear left your eye. Taking a deep breathe you made your way downstairs towards the dining hall. Usually you would have breakfast after everyone left for their work or college but today you had to leave early too. And there's no way you want to be late on the first day at the campus.
"Eunjae, Take a seat. I'll drop you later." Jin, the only member who behaved well with you, said while passing you a smile. He was the one who stopped other members from running after you on the day of interrogation when you abruptly ran to your room.
Sensing your presence all the members pulled on their poker faces and silently took their seats on the dinning table. You sat between Jimin and Hoseok, while Yoong, Jin and Jubgkook sat on the opposite side of the table. Namjoon sat on the corner side while Taehyung was beside Jimin.
"Hyung, why can't she go to some other college? Why ours?" Jungkook said with a frustrated voice, banging his chopsticks on the table. It was nothing new, the same thing happens everyday during the dinner.
"Jungkook! Manners. And she'll go to your college so that you guys can keep an eye on her if she's safe or not. Moreover it's Mom and Dad's decision." Jin said glaring at the maknae.
"Eye on her? Never. We aren't free to take care of her hyung. And even if we were, we won't waste our time on someone as useless as her." This time Jimin spoke who was casually eating his food not even once raising his head to meet others. His voice was low and calm yet full of hatred.
"I don't want a debate on this topic once again. It's decided and if anyone of you still have objections with this decision then you can meet me in my office." Jin's voice was deep and threatening which was enough for the members to shut their mouths and eat their breakfast.
You can see how Taehyung's hands which were on the table, were clenched in a fist and his knuckles turning white. It was clear he was trying his best to calm down when in reality he wanted to punch someone really bad. Whereas Jin was passing you a apologetic smile to which you replied with a understanding nod and mouthing 'it's fine' and silently started eating your food.
"I'll make sure that your college life becomes a hell for you. There won't even be a Jin hyung to protect you." Jimin whispered near your ear in such a intimating voice that you completely lost your appetite. But you didn't show it on your face. If they think they can make you weak with their empty threat then they were completely wrong. Hell? Huh! You aren't a kid to fall for it.
"Thanks for the breakfast hyung. I'll come late tonight. Maybe I'll sleep at the company, so don't wait for me." Yoongi said getting up from his seat and went away waving a bye at everyone. Since that day he hasn't even once talked to you, neither looked at you.
"I'll leave too hyung. You can come after dropping the maknaes." Hoseok passed everyone his signature sunshine smile. "Jungkookie don't create any troubles, Jiminie and Taehyung-ah take care of him and make sure he doesn't skip his classes" You silently wished him for say something about you too, ask the twins and Junkook to take care of you too but instead you heard Jungkook's voice
"Hyung!!! I'm not a baby anymore. I can take care of myself." He said whining from the other side of the table.
"You'll always be our baby Jungkook-ah. Our only little maknae." Namjoon said passing Jungkook a dimple smile. You want to experience their care and love too but you know you're wishing for something impossible.
Hoseok walked away, but you swear you felt his hands caressing your hair for a brief moment. And you can bet that it wasn't unintentional. You smiled thinking that atleast there are two people who care for you. Though they don't show it but their actions say it all. You know it's Hoseok who comes to check on you during night when everyone is asleep. You know its Jin who makes sure that other don't harm you when he's around you. You know they both care for you, but maybe Hoseok is afraid.
And they do. Hoseok cares for you as much as he cares for anyone else in the family. And that's the reason he came to ask how you are that night. It wasn't out of curiosity. He was genuinely concerned and your frightened expression that they only increased his concern for you and that's the reason he comes to check upon you every night. He wants to tell you that he's there but he's scared. Scared to open up his heart again, scared of getting betrayed again, scared of how his brothers will react. So he suppresses all these feelings and maintains a poker face in front of you. He doesn't want the past to repeat itself.
He doesn't want to have that feeling of killing himself again.
•√•
DAMN. HOSEOK WAS MEANT TO BE RUDE AND COLD. But how can I imagine this sunshine being cruel to someone. Aghhhhh.
Your Overtalented Author
~AV
04/03/21
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The Hidden Tears | A BTS Fan Fiction | Book 1 ✔
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