The Hidden Tears | A BTS Fan Fiction | Book 1 ✔

Chapter 28 : The Switch

•7 June 2021•

'No matter how dark the room is, there always will be a light. All you need to do is somehow find a switch.' You recalled the words of your father as you made your way towards the rooftop to calm your mind.

Without any doubt you all stayed in the hospital for two days and even though Yoongi offered to take you home, you denied it saying you're afraid to sleep all alone there. Though it was somehow true, aftrerall who won't be scared to be alone in that more than 8 bedroom mansion at 11 in the night, but that wasn't the entire reason you refused to go back.

You wanted to stay here to look after them, to make sure they don't degrade their own health while taking care of Jungkook. Taking a deep breath, with your eyes closed, you allowed your mind to relax a bit after a tiring night. Feeling the cool breeze on your arms you opened your eyes and realised how cold the weather was after it rained last night and here you were standing on the rooftop of a five story hospital building with just a summer top and jeans.

But you didn't mind the cold sensation your arms were feeling every now and then. It gave you a different kind of comfort as you now stared down at the busy streets, watching people rushing to their jobs, kids walking to schools and their mothers accompanying them.

A smile made it's way to your lips as you remembered how your life was as normal as all this too. Your father going for a job in the morning, you and your brother waking up early for school, your mother scolding you for being late and your brother blaming it all on you. How you wish to turn back time and never force your brother to take to the arcade, to never ask your parents to take you out for dinner. How much you wish you could go 7 years back and ask your brother to run instead of running away yourself. Only if a doremon existed in real life too.

A small tear made it's way out of your eyes but you never made any effort to wipe it off. The smile on your face and the tears rolling down your cheeks somehow represented your life all these years - Smiling through the pain. How funny it is that seeing Jungkook in pain you somehow forgot that you were the one suffering before him, that you were in your room crying your heart out in Yoongi's embrace. But what now? How come you can so easily forget all that and worry about the one's who were the reason of your pain.

"Why did you raise me into such a soft person Mom Dad? You should have told me that it is ok to be selfish sometimes. Look what your good life lessons made me into. This world is not a place for a sensitive and emotional girl like me." You said holding the pendant in your hands, speaking and complaining as if they can hear you. The single tear drop that was streaming down was now a complete waterfall but you couldn't care more.

"I tried Mom, I really tried to love them, to be close to them but at the end it's always me who's suffering, always me who's hurt. They won't ever care, they don't want me in their lives. They want me t-to... " You were unable to complete you sentence as a soft whimper left your mouth. "They want me to die... "

You just have to find the switch, your father used to tell you but what if even after finding the switch the lights won't turn on, what if the lights are already fused? Will you always be stuck in that dark room or will someone fix the switch? As much as you wanted the answers to your questions you pushed these thoughts away and turned around to make your way back but stopped on your tracks when you heard someone's cries.
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Without anyone knowing, Taehyung made his way out of the hall where the members were gathered and were discussing about Jungkook's condition. The doctors just allowed them to meet Jungkook and they were so excited about it. But him? How can he even face him knowing that all these are the consequences of his actions, that his Kook is lying on the hospital bed because of him.