The Hidden Tears | A BTS Fan Fiction | Book 1 ✔

Chapter 38 : Trust

•7 July 2021•

"I wish you would tell me about your dark past. I wish I could be the one you trust Eunjae." He said, turning towards you and supporting his body on his right arm, looking at you with apologetic eyes.

"T-there's nothing to tell Jin and I do trust you." You replied, looking everywhere but at him because you were sure one look at you and he'd tell that you're lying.

You trust him, afterall you're a part of his family now, but maybe not enough to tell him the truth. Or maybe you fear that they'll never look at you the same way, that the close bond which you guys are finally able to develop with break with a snap, that they'll abandon you just like how your Uncles did.

"Eunjae~" He cooed ever so softly, sitting upright on the bed and making you do the same.

He faced you, the moonlight kissing his skin and making him look so beautiful. "We would never judge you, no matter what your past is. I know you wanted to tell me everything the day we had a fight and I'm so so sorry for yelling at you and saying you the words I never should have said. You must have had reasons for your actions, everyone has and I'm sincerely sorry for not being able to understand you. I just–"

"You don't mean those words, right?" You said, cutting him off as you saw his expression turn to that of a guilt.

Never. He never meant what he said, never had an intention to judge you on the basis of your past. He was just angry at himself for creating a mess, for not being able to protect his brothers from pain. He was disappointed at himself for not being an older brother they all need, for breaking their promise like it was nothing. He knew it was important to tell you about their sister but he could have at least talked about this with others before leaping into action right? But he didn't and this thought made him frustrated enough to lash out on you, even after knowing the fault was not all yours but his too.

"No... I don't mean anything I said Eunjae. I still trust you and I still need you to be their remedy, their medicine." He said, no visible hesitancy in his voice, the look in his eyes assuring you how sincere his words are.

You sighed, your gaze now shifted to your lap, as you contemplated on whether to tell him everything or not. If yes, then how? You can't just spill it saying 'There's a dangerous mafia group out there ready to take my life any moment and I'm sorry for telling it now. It has put your life in danger too but it is what it is. Thank you.' You wished it was this simple but it isn't.

You need to tell them even the slightest part of the story, starting from your life 7 years ago in Daegu to you shifting to Seoul in a hope to save your life. You need to tell them about your brother who decided put his life in stake to save you, about your parents who died because they wanted you to be safe, about how even though you had a chance to save them in the hospital, you couldn't.

You know that now them being involved in this mess they have a right to know everything but what you're not sure about is if you'd be able to tell them all this without having panic attacks. You're afraid to relive all those dreadful memories again. Moreover you're afraid of them leaving you after knowing the truth. After all why would they risk their life for you? A stranger who came to their lives not more than two months ago. And these are the thoughts stopping you.

"You daydream too much for a normal person, you know that right?" He said making you chuckle. Turning your attention at him you threw your body at him, his arms taking you into their embrace almost as a reflex. "Wow wow wow! What happened?"

"I just felt like hugging you... I'm happy it's all good between us now." You mumbled with your face buried in the crook of his neck. His body was radiating warmth making you want to stay in this position forever. It wasn't awkward to hug Yoongi and Jin for you. However, you were still conscious about having skinships with others.